The Day that Changed My Life

Friday August 5th, will mark the anniversary of the day that changed my life. It isn't a happy anniversary like the day I meet my partner or anything like that. It is actually an anniversary that only a handful of friends know about. It is an anniversary that I wish never happened. August 5th, will mark the eleven year anniversary of the day I was gay bashed.

Not even my family and friends, except a small handful, even knew that I have been bashed. You may be wondering why I would have kept this from the people who care and love about me. I will tell you, I felt ashamed that I allowed this to happen to myself. I still have a hard time admitting and hard time talking about it, but I know that I’m not alone. It’s a secret most people didn’t know about me. I hate talking about it. I hate thinking about it. Yet, to be totally honest with you; that night still haunts my nightmares. Every time I hear about a gay-bashing the through that run though my head is what would have happened if they didn’t stop?

So yes I am a victim of gay bashing; correction survivor. How it happened is not of importance. The importance is in the occurrence. The few friends who knew tried to sympathize. Yet their sympathy provides little solace and no consolation. Only someone who has experienced this vile, horrid, degrading act can empathize. But you can’t even compare your experience to theirs because it is different for everybody. I pushed everyone away because I needed to allow my emotions to run their course.

Nothing prepared me for the pain and degradation perpetrated on my body. My body; my property; the unwarranted violation of my body. The utter sense of despair and helplessness as people swung at me like I was some kind of piñata. Breaking my ribs, tearing at my flesh, invading my body.
Tossing me about like a worthless rag doll. All the while telling me lies of my filth and unimportance; which later I started to believe.

When it was over my first emotion wasn’t hate. It wasn’t anger or revenge. No, it was shear devastation, self-loathing, worthlessness, pain. For it wasn’t just my body that was attacked . . . It was my soul, my innocence. They emotionally took away my identity. I was left with nothing; absolutely nothing. I could see only nothing. I had been tossed into a black hole; an endless void. Suicide looked like a definite possibility.

I was taken to the hospital; the place you go for help or so I thought. I laid there and waited while my skin turning black and blue. As I laid there I was reminded of my unimportance. And started to sink farther into that blackness and becoming part of the nothingness.

I then talked to the he police, the people you go to for protection or so I thought. They bombarded me with questions; being attacked with inquisition. My mind was already reeling with emotion as I tried to verbalize and rationalize. I started to go into a tailspin; crashing a little further into that hole. How much more could they make me suffer, making me relive this event that I would rather forget.


Their actions destroyed my world of hopes and dreams. I would lie in bad looking for sleep, hoping for its permanence yet it never come. So as I laid there in the darkness I am reminded of my loneliness; which thrust though the bottom of the black hole.

I then went there a period of reality that was never really mine. I become a breeding ground for hate. I hated the men whom forced me into this place of evil. I hated those who could of helped but didn’t. I hated those who should have protected me and couldn’t. But most of all I hated me.

I started to get comfortable in this newfound refuge of complete evil. All of my thoughts and energy fueled my thoughts of revenge, murder. Never once realizing I was killing the person I once was and thought I could never be again.

Hate, which is just as evil as the crime, ate away at what was left of my soul. It was preventing me from healing. It just burned in my mind like a wild fire. Deep down inside of myself I knew I couldn’t stop hating until I forgave.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life was forgiving those who bashed me. With my energies now focused on me I began to move forward with my life. I went back into this world and got closer to my true identity. I was fortunate because deep down I held onto the man that I used to be. He found his way back into my life and the healing began. I started to pick up the pieces of my shattered life; something that requires patience.

It is going on eleven years and still the fear that comes over me sometimes seems like it will never go way. When I meet strangers or am in a large crowded room I tend to get super quiet, stay to myself, or play on my phone. I’m scared of not knowing everything and everyone around me. I’m scared of the unknown. The anxiety attacks I get when I can’t do something are because of it. This is the reality of my life. This is what I have become. Do I know how to fix it? Nope and nor do I want too.

My bashing has shaped who I am as a person and how I think politically. Although I’m a bit more awkward now, I wouldn’t change the fact that I was bashed for anything. The struggles we go through as a queer people is what shapes us as beings, and what helps us realize that as much as the powers-that-be want us to assimilate into heterosexist culture, we never will. We will and forever be queer people, we are strange and not the norm. And I’m proud of that. I am still continue my journey to the person I want to be. That is just part of my life and my recovery.

One final thought; our world is changing. Is it progressing for the better? I am not sure. Are we forgetting that violence against our community is a real problem or do we need the media to remind us again?

MJ

“Sexual Preference” vs. “Sexual Orientation”

Can anyone tell me the difference between “sexual preference” and “sexual orientation”? If you were thinking they mean the same thing you would be wrong. “Sexual preference” implies that there is a choice in the matter. Whereas ‘sexual orientation’ implies that one was born this way.

Semantics matter.

By someone saying “sexual preference” instead of “sexual orientation” has played right into anti-gay advocates’ argument that sexual orientation is a choice. Worse, it could also lend credence to the idea spread by the Christian right and other suspicious organizations that gay people must simply exercise willpower in overcoming the “mastery of sin” that supposedly makes us “give in” to the “temptation” of gay sexuality.

I am as guilty as the next person because I have allowed my friends and allies to continue using the phrase “sexual preference” instead of “sexual orientation”, but that is going to stop because I will not allow anyone to legitimize the implication that sexual orientation is a choice.

To most people in the Christian right, they believe that one’s “sexual preference” is a beatable character flaw; as though a gay person elects to face a lifetime of discrimination because of some misguided, masochistic lust. Therefore it is a problem that can be solved, often by prayer and celibacy.

This same thinking leads anti-gay supporters to turn the fact of human sexuality into a question of morals. To them it’s our choice to be gay, and that choice is a wrong one. Why should the bigots change if we’re the ones who chose — preferred, even — to be “deviant” in the first place?

In fact, the concept of “sexual preference” is just as problematic to me as “gay lifestyle.” Both phrases reject the very idea of “sexual orientation”, instead reducing gayness to a set of learned behaviors and attitudes. What’s more, both phrases indirectly position heterosexuality as the moral standard for which we should all strive and from which we in the LGBT community “deviate” from.
When someone uses the term “sexual preference” or claim to support “the gay lifestyle” probably doesn’t mean to suggest that being gay is actually a choice. Nonetheless, our language reflects our beliefs. It is time we stop allowing the belief that gayness is a choice to pollute our vocabulary.

MJ

Restart!!!!!!

I imagine many of you were surprised to see new post up on the blog. To be perfectly honest with you I am too. Apathy, work, and a failure to gain traction in a competitive blogosphere contributed to the long drought. And I didn’t think my heart was in it any more.

I realized I didn’t have the mettle to go up against the likes of Joe.My.God and Towleroad and others, who were already doing a fabulous job, and I might add are tremendous assets to the LGBT community. Simply parroting them was no way to distinguish myself.

I used to joke that I was a small fish swimming in a small pond full of big fish. Occasionally I’d get a nibble. Sometimes I’d get lucky and more popular blogs would cross-post or even feature one of my original posts.
This little fish was never eaten. It simply grew tired of swimming.

This brings us to the present and all the new post.

Lately I’d been feeling the itch to start blogging again. I looked back at all of my earlier post and yes they were definitely more sporadic, but more personal. Less chore.. more fun. I need to go back to that. At least for a while.

So I want to start off by letting you know that there will be more personal/essay type posts and less breaking news, unless it’s really juicy, or really relevant. I’ve also be posting more local events (local being Northern Illinois).

I know some of you will abandon my blog. Some already have. And that’s fine. For those who stick around, I hope to make it worth your while. Until next time.

Faith Response to the Violence in Lake View Prayer and Candle Vigil

"Human beings are all members of one body.
They are created from the same essence.
When one member is in pain,
The others cannot rest.
If you do not care about the pain of others,
you are not worthy of being called a human."
(A quote from a renowned Persian Poet, Saadi Shirazi 12th to 13th century AD)

As some of you already know, there have been a few shocking events that happened in Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood. People in this neighborhood have witnessed and experienced violence in many forms: spiritual, physical, and emotional. A group called the Faith Response to Violence is offering a neutral space for prayer and silent reflection.

Look deep inside yourself and become the spark of change and show in solidarity that we are against all forms of violence. Let’s band together and help build a safe community for everyone.

So please join me on Saturday, July 23, at 10:30 p.m. at the 7-Eleven parking lot located at Halsted and Roscoe.

Please bring candles with you to participate in the vigil.

NOTE:
There are no "speakers" for this event. As it states above, this event is a neutral space for prayer and reflection.

No finger-pointing.
No blaming.
Instead, an invitation to prayer, reflection, and hope for peace.

EVENT DATE
Saturday, July 23, 2011
10:30 PM - 11:30 PM
LOCATION
7-Eleven Parking Lot
3407 N. Halsted St.
Chicago, IL 60657
(Corner of Roscoe and Halsted)

Do You Have Blood on Your Hands?

Do you have the blood of those whom have turned to suicide due to anti-gay bullying on your hands?

Well I will tell you who does.

Those of you who fight to deny gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people their rights, which includes the right to get married and to be protected against discrimination and crime.

Those of you who selectively read between the lines of the Bible just to justify your own hatred.

Those of you, who object and even prevent programs that teach tolerance and understanding in your children’s schools, are allowing these children to go unprotected from anti-gay hate speech and also physical violence.

Those of you, who hear, use or even allow others around you to use derogatory slurs like faggot, dyke, queer; these words are used as lethal weapons to torment and terrorize people until they think the only way to make it stop is to turn to suicide.

Those of you whom have gay friends, colleagues or relatives and yet remain outwardly silent, your silence is also to blame for those deaths caused by anti-gay bullying.

Where would you turn if all your life kids at school called you queer and faggot as they kicked and punched at you? Or when the people at your church kept saying that homosexuality destroys the family and violates the law of God? Or when you turned on the television the politicians were saying that openly gay people serving in the military or getting married will harm our society.

For me I interpreted these messages as evidence that anyone who identified as gay; be it gay men, lesbian or transgender; did not deserve to live so I turned to suicide.

It has been years since I admitted to myself that I attempted to take my own life over what people said and did. For the longest time, I was ashamed of what I did and buried it deep inside me so I wouldn't let my emotions get the better of me. So I sat idly by on the sidelines not saying much on the topic for the past year. But how could I live with myself knowing that those innocent children’s blood was also on my hands.

Because of my own fears and guilt, I allowed people’s bigotry and hatred go unchallenged. Well not anymore. I will not let those who oppose the equal rights and fair and just treatment make another person feel like I did.

I vow that even though I am just one person, my voice will not be denied and I will fight along side some great orginazations such as the It Gets Better Project (www.itgetsbetter.org) and The Trevor Project (www.thetrevorproject.org) to let everyone know that they are not alone and their life is worth living no matter what anyone says or does.

I just want to leave you with one finally thought. When someone says anything negative against gay, lesbian or transgender people, they are handing a loaded gun of justification to someone, and by turning a blind eye you also are allowing this justification.

So do you have the blood of those whom have turned to suicide due to anti-gay bullying on your hands?

-MJ

Looking for Role Models!!!

I know I haven't wrote to you all in a long time. But just last night I was sitting in my bedroom and I started to wonder what is it that we (gay activist) actually wanted? The biggest thing we want is full federal equality, that is a given. But I believe that we are also looking for modern day role models, people who will inspire a new generation just like Cleve Jones and Harvey Milk inspired us. We want these new role models to give us that extra bit of encouragement that allows us to push ourselves to achieve more.

But then I started to wonder how we as grassroots activist might actually respond to someone whom comes across as the perfect role model, someone like my favorite superhero Superman. Would a real life Superman make us sick or would we want to be more like him. The decision isn't totally clear because as a society we rather watch people fail; rather than celebrating their achievements. So knowing how as a society how we act, would we want this modern day Superman to join our cause for full equal protection under the law for all citizens of this great land if he offered help us? I myself say yes, because I already know of some people whom fit this bill.

But what made me write this post is the thought of what is stopping you from becoming a role model yourself? Do most of you believe that if you put yourself out there that you will probably fail anyway? I thought that myself, once upon a time. Yet now I am out there on the streets, fighting to make a difference. I am no longer just one voice whispering in the wind, but am part of a collective of voices demanding to be heard. So I encourage you to come join me in my fight for full federal equality.

If you live in the Chicagoland area feel free to contact me and come join me march in the pride parade as part of the Join The Impact Chicago's Activist Contingent. We are meeting up at 11:30 am on Sunday June 27th.

MJ

The Gay Rights Movement

With only eight days remaining till the Unite+Fight Midwest LGBT Conference in Chicago, I thought I would touch on the history of the Gay Rights movement. Then discuss how you can get involved in the fight for gay rights.

So let’s start at what some people consider the beginning of the gay rights movement. Prior to 1969, the oppression of gays was pervasive in all aspects of life throughout the 50s and 60s in the United States. Peoples attitudes towards homosexuals didn’t change until a riot sparked by a few drag queens outside of Stonewall Bar in Greenwich Village marked the beginning of the Gay Rights movement in America.

“The day before Stonewall, everyone was in the closet. The next day, everyone was out of the closet,” says Dick Leitsch, former president of the Mattachines, an early gay-rights group.

In the 60s it was routine for the police to raid gay bars, but on June 28th 1969, gays and lesbians fought back. Within a few weeks of the riots at Stonewall, the gay community all over the United States started to organize into activist groups. Their purpose was to concentrate efforts on establishing places for gays and lesbians to be open about their sexual orientation without fear of being arrested.

On June 28, 1970; a year after the Stonewall riots; the first Gay Pride marches took place in Los Angeles and New York to commemorate the anniversary of the riots.

Thanks to the Stonewall riots, it transformed the gay rights movement. Before the riots, you may of heard one person speak out for gay rights. Then the riots happened and a small number of activists came out and started to fight for gay rights. And know we hold widespread conferences and marches on Washington for equal rights and acceptance. And even though the gay rights movement has encountered some stumbling blocks over the years, it also has managed to create some major changes for the better.

The gay rights movement was shaken to the core in 1998, when a young man named Matthew Shepard put a face to a raising issue in the United States. In October of 1998, 22-year-old Matthew Shepard was tied to a fence and beaten within an inch of his life. He was then left for dead. He was discovered nearly eighteen hours after being attacked by two passing motorcyclist. They first thought that Matthew was a scarecrow because of the way his body was positioned on the fence. Matthew died six days later as a result of his injuries.

Gay right groups all across the United States demanded that we adopt some hate crime legislation, but anti-gay groups fought back saying that if we adopted hate crime legislation that the gays would have “special rights”. In 2007 a federal law against hate crimes based on sexual orientation called the Matthew Shepard Act passed both houses of Congress, but was vetoed by then President Bush. Then in October of 2009 President Obama signed the bill into law.

Now lets discuss how you can get involved in the gay rights movement. Become an activist! Even the most passive can make their voices heard in the most magnificent of ways. Whether your thing is marching on the steps of congress or writing a blog, you can become a gay rights activist. There are four simple things for you to do to become an activist.

1. Pick Your Path: Forget what you heard, not all gays are created equal. What I mean by this is that we have all have different ideals, opinions and priorities. So you need to pick a path of activism that is based on your passions.

2. Find Your Vehicle: Find the tools will help you create change based on your passions. There are several options you can do to fine your outlet. Start a blog, volunteer at a gay rights organization, join or run a gay club or group, organize a social networking rally on Facebook, write a series of letters to your political representative. The opportunities are limitless.

3. Become An Expert: You don't need a PhD in political science or to have a masters degree to become an expert activist. You do, however, need to stay current on the news related to your topic. Join different message boards that are related to your topic. Read relevant blogs and news articles. Listen to comparable podcasts. Just remember that the more you know, the more you can facilitate change.

4. Trust In Your Voice: What qualifies you to be an activist? Your desire to change the world does. The word 'activist' can seem quite intimidating, especially when you observe other activists doing great things. There's always room for more people with a desire to correct the imbalances of the world. And keep in mind, just because someone barks the loudest doesn't mean they are the most heard. So, you're voice is just as important even if you're just starting out. Changing even one mind is as effective as influencing millions. Trust in your ideals, validate your own experiences and make your mark.

The fight for gay rights may have been sparked back in 1969 with the Stonewall riots, we are still far from the fight being over. So come to the Unite+Fight Midwest LGBT Conference in Chicago on March 12-14 (http://unitefightmidwest.ettend.com/) and learn more about the gay rights movement and get active!

MJ

Faces of Equality

Hey everyone,

About a week ago, a debate broke out on the listserv for Join the Impact Chicago. It was a very interesting debate on if the group should reach out to certain political groups, like the Republican party. I really don't want to go into the debate, but something did come out of it that I wanted to share.

One of the straight allies of JTIC and my personal friend, Rachel Martin decided to create a facebook page that was to show the world that not everyone whom supports LGBT equality fits into neat little boxes.

So I highly encourage all of you who read this, to click on the title of this blog (it will take you to the facebook page) and join. Show that even if we are all different, that we can come together to achieve the same goal of EQUALITY for everyone.

MJ

Watch out for the Gathering Storm

I try to tip-toe my opinion as to not step on the toes of my readers, but any of you whom are donating or even supporting the idiots over at National Organization for Marriage are as bad as they are. What is even more funny is that one of my so-called friends sent me an e-mail (which I am assuming was by mistake)asking me to sign a petition to stop President Obama and Congress from repealing DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act). Why on god's green planet does this friend think I would sign a piece of shit like that. Does she not listen to the fucking words that come out of my mouth. well let me put it as clearly as I can for everyone. I am a homosexual and I am for marriage equality for EVERYONE!!!!!

Now lets take some of the wonderful statements from this piece of shit petition and analyze them. The first statement that I found issue with is this. "In fact, President Obama's campaign—and those of the liberals who lead Congress—was in great part bankrolled by a small, zealous network of Hollywood liberals and gay activists." I am not sure how many gay activist you know, but most of the ones I do know personally do not have the funds to bankroll the president and all of those liberals in Congress. Second of all, as National Organization for Marriage and other right-winged organizations have proven, even if you throw money behind a candidate it doesn't mean he or she will get elected. Should I point out that they bankrolled Sarah Palin and where did it get her!!!!!

Next statement; "While you and I concentrate on raising our families, paying our taxes, and going to church, this elite has been plotting to take away our right to define marriage as a husband and a wife . . . and then to use legalized gay marriage to indoctrinate our children and violate our religious freedoms. " WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! So us sinning homosexuals don't concentrate on raising our families, paying our taxes, and even going to church (yes even homosexuals go to church)!!!! Oh no according to these wack jobs, we are probably sitting in cold dark rooms plotting ways to ruin their marriages (like their adultery or abuse isn't doing that for them), indoctrinate their children into our sick world of sin. We are even going to force them to give up the religious freedoms they so cowardly hide behind and can only defend parts of because the rest doesn't interest them. I am sorry to inform those of my readers whom believe like them, but us homosexuals do concentrate on our families every day. And just because you might not think that we are a family doesn't make us less of one. Us homosexuals pay our taxes like everyone else. Some of us even attend church on a regular basis. The one thing I will have to agree with you on is that some of us are fighting to change the definition of marriage, but not to take your rights away but to add our rights as an American citizen to it. Lastly, drop the scare tactics! Homosexuals are not going to indoctrinate your children, if anyone is going to do anything to your child it is a good bet it is either going to be either you or their uncle Fred.

This next statement makes me laugh; "They will attack anyone who gets in their way as a bigot—and try to strip them of their rights." Correct me if I am wrong but isn't that exactly what the National Organization for Marriage is doing to the Homosexual community? I mean they attack us by saying that we are going to indoctrinate their children, they deny us the same legal protection under the law. To them we are second class citizens whom don't deserve the same rights as them.

"Without DOMA, more school kids will be taught that people who think marriage is between a husband and a wife are bigots." Again with the fucking fear mongering. They need to stop being bigots themselves, the hypocrites! So it is okay to teach your children that it is alright to hate homosexuals, but it isn't alright to teach them to be open minded about people whom may be different then themselves. That makes no sense to me!

And the last statement is; "The vast majority of Americans agree with us. They don't want marriage redefined—or children indoctrinated. But we must TELL Congress NOT to ABOLISH the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), or the "loud minority" of anti-marriage bullies will win." I will agree with the statement that the vast majority of Americans do agree with them, but not because they are well educated on the subject but because they fear change. Most people give into the fear mongering these bigoted assholes use like them reiterating that homosexuals want to indoctrinate their children. I guess my second grade teacher was right when she told us that if you say something enough times you will start to believe it to be true. Oh I also LOVE in this statement that us members of the GLBT community and our straight allies are being called the "loud minority". Of course we are being loud, they are denying us the same rights that they have and we are not going to sit back anymore and let it go on any longer.

So in case anyone is still wondering on where I stand let me say this. I am a member of the "loud minority" and we are coming to blow the mother fucking roof off of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) because we are so fucking sick and tired of being treated like some second class citizen you thing you can bully around. So I am encouraging all my friends and family whom know me and support me to contact the National Organization for Marriage and let them know that we are tired of their fear mongering and we are not going to sit idly by while they try to deny us our rights.

MJ

P.S. Below the two videos is the contact information for the National Organization for Marriage.

This is the real ad ran by the National Organization for Marriage:



This is the parody of the ad:




National Organization for Marriage
20 Nassau Street, Suite 242
Princeton, NJ 08542
Phone: (609) 688-0450
Fax: (888) 894-3604
Email: contact@nationformarriage.org

The Truth About The Sactity of Marriage

I know I have some readers whom believe that GLBT people should have the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts. I also know that I have some whom are more religiously inclined and object to gay marriage on biblical grounds. I know one thing for certain, that the institution of marriage needs rescuing. But surprise it is not from gay marriage!

Heterosexuals do not need any help from the GLBT community on destroying marriage; they have already done an admirable job of it themselves. Marriage is continuing to decline here in the United States not because of the issue of gay marriage, but because heterosexuals do not want to discuss how they can shore up what they consider the most vital of all social institutions.

Look at the statistics; they say that not even 10 percent of our population is GLBT, yet more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Even before the GLBT community come out demanding the right to marry, the institution of marriage was already on a downslide. As the GLBT community is fighting for the right to marry their partners, heterosexuals leave their marriages when life gets to tough.

So please my heterosexual readers, stop blaming the decline of your institution of marriage on the GLBT community. You need to look internally at your own community and fix the real issues that are attacking the sanctity of marriage, because everyone knows that it isn’t the GLBT community, but rather the heterosexuals self doubts and concerns about their own marriages.

MJ

A Discussion on Marriage Equality

The year 2009 was a huge roller-coaster ride for marriage equality. When I was actively posting on my blog, I have touched on this issue (especially before the Equality March on Washington back in October). Sadly, this issue has become the face of what people think the Queer community is all about in 2009. But I want to set the record straight (and yes I said straight) for anyone who doesn’t know where I stand on this issue. I do honestly believe that every queer couple deserves the same rights as our straight counterparts, so clearly I am for marriage equality. Yet, I do not believe that it is the most important issue that faces the Queer community. Nor do I honestly believe that by passing these marriage laws will substantially change life for most of the Queer community overnight. The way I see it, we need to fight for better non-discrimination laws at the local, state and federal level. We need to fight to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, so those members who are LGBTQ and serving in our country’s Armed Forces are not dishonorable discharged from service. It is to help stop the beating and the killing of Queer people on the streets of their hometowns. We need to fight to ensure that partners of Queer people can honor the wishes of their partner if something tragic was to happen. We need to be able to guarantee that the partner of someone who is hospitalized is able to stay by their lover’s side to provide comfort. These issues are as important as the right to get married.

I do realize that the battle for marriage is going to be a very long and challenging fight; it isn’t going to happen overnight. I thought I would be happy for now over every little battle we win that help protect our relationships and our families. I’d thought that I rather achieve some rights rather than holding out for full marriage equality and having nothing until that happens.

Yet my opinion changed when I went to a dinner party with friends. One of my friends pointed out that marriage is an umbrella “right”, which means that this right covers almost everything that is valuable to the protection of ourselves, our relationships, our children, and our families. Listening to his stand on this issue, I took away that since marriage equality is such a powerful topic on its own, that it could possibly help us accomplish more than we were able to accomplish when we win smaller battles at the local and state level.

We discussed that when our issue loses in a public vote, that we need to have more dialogue within the queer community about the reasons why we can’t seem to get anywhere with this issue. We discussed that the opponents of marriage equality always use these public votes as proof that the majority of America does not approve of same-sex marriages. Therefore, they get people to believe that there shouldn’t be marriage equality for the queer community.

We argued over if we should regroup as a community and work toward finding some new strategies in 2010. He pointed out that as a community, we know what the strategies of our opposition are, yet we do not defend ourselves against it. He asked why are we not prepared for their antics since they just keep doing the same crap over and over again?

As my friends discussed this topic over drinks, I begin to wonder if we as a community were really fighting for our civil. What made me think that was another friend voiced her opinion that the push for Marriage Equality was basically to create a sound-bite issue that many from the Queer community could rally behind and feel like they are making a difference. Yet at the same time, those same people who have rallied (me included) have failed to provide rights to queer partners and their families. Another issue that was brought up was that by allowing this issue to be a state by state issue has actually set us back rather than propel us forward. I was asked that could we, the Queer community, say that this fight for marriage equality is a full fledged effort to protect ourselves and our families, or is it just our half-assed effort to become our straight counterparts? To be honest with you, I could not answer that question, and I still could not give you a honest opinion. All I could say is that I am fighting to protect my relationship.

It was pointed out that behind closed door, those leading the battle for equal rights are strategizing and are trying to figure out their next move. Yet those of us on the front are pissed off because we believe that at some point, that dialogue needs to leave those behind the closed doors and come out and help educate those of us in the grass roots organizations so we are not flying blindly into battle.

We discussed that it is just wrong for others to be voting on rights that do not affect them. Yet we were reminded that we needed to keep in mind whom we are fighting this battle against. The anti-gay opponents never deal with logic, fact or reason, instead they focus more on fear mongering with lies, misinformation, and a warped sense of the role of religion in secular life. So, if we were to go at them with the “it is wrong to vote…” strategy, we do not know what the possible ramifications could be down the road. They could spin it to make it seem like we are saying that the public’s opinion doesn’t matter, and thus alienating those we need to reach to help fight for our civil rights.

At this dinner party there were people who believed that marriage equality didn’t matter. They went through all the right channels and jumped through all the hoops just too got some paperwork done that says it will protect your family. Yet, how many of our straight counterparts had to go through all those channels and jump through all those hoops to protect their families?

What we still seem to fail to understand is that the real battle over marriage equality is the fear of cultural change. We rally and fight for a political fix to a cultural problem. And the worst part of it is that we want that political fix right now! Why are we not out there on the streets speaking directly to the fears that our opposition is telling the general public, instead of complaining about what we think our rights should be. We need to go to the general public and address those fears and try to counter them with the truth. Yet as a community, we seem more reactive then proactive when it comes to this issue.

So I am asking all my brothers and sisters; either gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, transsexual, to stand up and educate yourselves. If we want to make a change in 2010, we need to become more proactive and less reactive when it comes to all our civil rights and not just marriage equality.

MJ

I Am So Sorry

To start, I like to say I am sorry that my blog seemed to disappear toward the end of the year. I was working on getting enrolled into the Culinary Arts program at the Art Institute of Chicago, but sadly that fell through at the last minute and now I am fighting the clock to get enrolled into the Culinary Arts program at College of DuPage. If all goes well, I will be enrolled and attending my classes starting next week. My New Years revolution is to make sure I post at least one blog a week. I would love to post more than that, but between work and school who knows when I will have the time.

Protect Maine Equality

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to post a quick post before I headed off to bed since I got to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go to work. As I get ready for bed I decided to check on the latest polls from Maine and Washington.

Let me talk about Maine first. I have touch base on Question 1 in Maine. This item on is similar to Proposition 8 that happened in California. If Question 1 passes, it will take away the equal marriage that the LGBT community won in that state. As of writing this post, the polls showed with 64% reporting, Yes: 51.7% No: 48.3%. It has been close all night and I am saddened that I must go to bed before the final tally is in.

Now on to Washington's Referendum 71. This bill is a little more confusing. Because if you vote no for this one, then you are voting against keeping the domestic partnership law. I was informed that Washington passed Referendum 71, but then a few minutes later was told that they my rescind it. I am unable to get a clear cut answer on this one at the moment so when I post the results of Maine in them morning (hopefully) I hope to have this one cleared up too.

We can not let the right wingers to use these as a form of backlash over the hate crimes legislation President Obama signed. They are just pissed off because god forbid everyone has the right to live their lives without getting beat up. (Sorry went on a tangent.)

MJ

Extremely Disturbing

As I lie on a cold floor naked, stripped of my dignity; shimmering tears cascade through the void of my existence. Inside, there is a war of the flames of my desire versus my cold reality. Shards of ice melt in the dreams of a better tomorrow. A chaotic peacefulness results in the man you see before you. I come from a dark place where the shadows themselves have gone mad. I sit quietly with my loneliness crying out to be silenced. Yet, my primal rage of hate and craving for vengeance burns brightly. The freedom to destroy the happiness of the one who put me her rest in one hand. In the other, the dreams of my own happiness involves the same person I would hurt.

I feel damned to this isolation. . . Barred from the joys of other humans. I scream for release, but my pleas are ignored. I am left alone to sit quietly within the shadows. I can hear the sound of my heart beating in my ears. I cry-out for help once more, and again no one responds. I try to escape, but the room is impossible to penetrate.

I start to think back to that moment only days before, when I told him it was over. I wonder how I could have walked away so easily. I guess I became so engrossed in my own needs that I lose sight of all else. Before I know it, the love was gone and I left.

Now I find myself in this room looking for an explanation of why I did the things I did. He did nothing by treasured my secrets as if they were jewels. He provided me a place to rest. But in the comfort of his arms, I betrayed his sanctuary. I watched helplessly as our bridge burned out of control. I couldn’t do anything to stop the inferno from consuming everything we have built together. How can I have set fire to a work of such magnificence? I left him standing there, begging me to reconsider. Begging me to stay?

I begin to shiver in a cold sweat as the darkness of my prison devours me once again. I cry out for help again, but again my cries are not heard. I now find myself begging with all my heart's power. I am tired of screaming, but I cannot stop. Maybe, just maybe, he will show me mercy and set me free. I hear footsteps. He is coming. Have my screams worked? Yes!

He opens the door to my prison but I cannot stand. My legs are too weak. I realize then, as I cry for his help, that he has not come to release me. He has come to finish me off. I notice a long object in his hand. It is a lead pipe. He holds it over his head with one hand and with a single powerful blow, he strikes and breaks what is left of my legs. I scream. The pain is too much. I beg to die. Death is now paradise. Heaven or Hell? I do not care. I just want to fucking die. Again, his overwhelming strength thrusts his weapon upon me. This time my back. Both shoulder blades are shattered and I suddenly can no longer feel my legs. He has destroyed a part of my spine, it seems. And he walks away.

For twenty minutes, I experience the worst pain imaginable. I begin thinking of ways to kill myself. Is it possible? And then the pain takes over again. I see flashes of light and hear voices calling me from my past. I try to block out the light; I close my eyes very tight. I still see the light and hear the voices coming back to haunt me. Words that tear at my heart and devour my soul like vultures. Sweat pours from my body and makes me shiver. There is no escape from the agony and pain that torments me.

It fells like an eternity when he returns, but this time he has a chain with a hook on the end of it. He reaches down grabs my arm with so power that it breaks in a twist. I can see my forearm protruding from my elbow. He starts pulling me violently by my now broken arm over rocky ground to a hanging conveyor belt. My capturer then inserts his hook into the back of my neck, not caring whether its penetration will kill me or not. And unfortunately, it does not.

By the other end of the chain, he hoists me to the conveyor belt and hangs me there. My vision is patchy, everything is a blur. Blood begins to drip into my eyes. My pain is beginning to subside. Death is near. My heart begins to weaken; and my body can take no more and finally gives way to death.

Death has claimed yet another that was selfish. He will soon be placed in a grave and left to rot. A few kind words will be said to please the few who have gathered. Some may shed a few tears at his grave side, as is expected at a funeral. But in the end they will walk away, never to remember him again.


Hope you didn’t mind that I took a break today and just posted a little Halloween treat for your reading please. Hope you enjoyed my little story.

MJ

National Week of Initiative

This coming week (November 1st–8th) is being known as the National Week of Initiative among the LGBTI activist community. What this means is that we are asking everyone who supports equality for all Americans to get out and have our voices heard. . .

I know when I first started getting active I was always wondering what can just one person do. As time went on I have developed a list of things that one person can do to help out.

1.) Write a hand written letter to BOTH your state and federal Representative and Senator. My friend Nik of JTIC said at the Report-Back from Washington D.C. meeting that if we send hand written letters rather then e-mails it helps personalize the movement. Also if you do not know who your Representatives are check out www.votesmart.org.
2.) Contact your local media be it television, newspaper, magazine, radio or even podcast. Write them a letter or e-mail and voice your opinion on the issue of full equality for everyone. Let them know they have viewers, readers or listeners who do care about this issue and want to spread the word.
3.) Have a face-to-face with your local representative. If you want take a few people from your district with you so they can see that they have delegates in their district who support equality for all people.
4.) Have coffee or dinner with your neighbors, friends and/or family and discuss the importance of full equality for everyone.
5.) Create a viral video and post it to sites like youtube, facebook or on a blog. Your video can be from just a slideshow with text and music, to changing the words to a song to make it about equality and perform it live on the streets.
6.) Host a movie screening night at your house with friends and family. Watch movies like “Milk”, “Solder’s Girl” or “Laramie Project” and then discuss the importance of these films and the struggle that all LGBTI people still face today.
7.) Find a group or organization and get involved. There are a tons of local groups one can get involved with. Here are links to a few local Chicago groups;
A. http://www.jointheimpactchicago.com
B. http://www.genderqueerchicago.blogspot.com
C. http://www.LGBTChange.org

As for me I can tell you that I have already began to write my handwritten letters to both my federal and state Representative and Senator. I am involved with the wonderful group Join The Impact Chicago. I am going to be creating a press release comment about my blog to send to podcast and other forms of media. I would make a video, but the last one I made caused more embarrassment then anything. But trust me, I will be out there with fellow activist canvassing after work, where needed. I will be tabling if JTIC decided that is what we need to do.

Before I go I want to discuss one other huge thing happening next week. On Tuesday November 3rd residents of the state of Maine will vote on Proposition 1, a ballot measure that could take away the right of same-sex couples to marry in that state. Join The Impact Chicago is hosting a Proposition 1 Rally on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 from 5:30pm till 6:30pm at the James R. Thompson Center in Chicago. Please show your support for full equality in all 50 states and come out to the rally. It will either be a celebration or a protest depending on the outcome of Prop 1. Yet either way, it is a great way to network and continue our fight. Remember, the march on Washington D.C. was not the end of the battle, it was only the beginning. For more information check out the event page on Facebook… http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=199172736752&index=1


MJ

Saying Something and Doing It Are Two Different Things.

If I were to throw some names at you, could you tell me what they have in common? Well lets give it a try; Allen Schindler, Timothy McVeigh, Barry Winchell and Dan Choi. All four of these man have something to do with the military policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

Allen Schindler was murdered by his fellow sailors on October 27th, 1992. Timothy McVeigh became the first person to win a case against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in 1998. Barry Winchell was murdered by a fellow soldier on July 5th, 1999. Dan Choi publicly came out in March of this year and was discharged from the Army.

Even though there are hundreds if not thousands of other cases of people affected by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, I wanted to spend some time talking about one that has had the most influence on me.

I first came across the name Barry Winchell in the summer of 1999. I just received my latest copy of XY Magazine ( a gay themed magazine for gay youth) and I was flipping through it and started to read the articles. This issue touched on the subject of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. It included bios of service members who were dishonorable discharged from the military after they found out they were gay or lesbian. But the article I remembered the most was the feature article. It was about a young straight solder who was brutally beaten in the early morning of July 5th of that year.

You are wondering why a gay magazine ran an article about a straight solder under it’s segment of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Well let me explain. Barry Winchell, had fallen in love with a beautiful transgendered woman named Calpernia Addam, whom he met at a nightclub in Nashville. Justin Fisher, Barry’s roommate, began spreading rumors of the relationship at Ft. Campbell. Barry then became a target of ongoing harassment from his fellow solders. Justin Fisher started to refer to Barry as “the faggot”. There wasn’t anything Barry could of done to stop the harassment or name calling because of the terms under the policy of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell”. So Barry had no choice but to keep his head down and endure the increasing brutality, for if he were to mention it to anyone, it would have meant an immediate dishonorable discharge from the Army. So Barry kept the abuse to himself and became a victim to the policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

The article went on to say that on July 4th, Barry and a fellow soldier named Calvin Glover, fought after Barry accused a boasting Calvin of being a fraud. Both men were drinking beer throughout the day. Later in the day, Justin, whom by now had his own history of physical altercations with Barry, began to irritate and provoke the nineteen year old Calvin. Justin taunted Calvin by saying, “What sort of a real man would lose a fight to a faggot like Barry Winchell?”

That night Justin and Barry had another one of their altercations and Barry went to sleep on a cot outside the room he shared with Fisher. Around midnight Calvin took a baseball bat from Justin's locker and struck Barry as he slept. The bat struck Barry's head, face, and upper torso area, as if Calvin was trying to not only kill Barry, but to obliterate any trace of what he represented. Barry died of massive head injuries on July 6th.

That was where my article in XY Magazine left the story. After reading this article, I was pissed off so I decided to research Barry Winchell’s name on AOL (yes we didn’t have Google back in the day) to try and find any related information. In the following months after the article came out I have learned a few things. First, I learned that Barry's murder led then President Bill Clinton to order a review of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, but that really did not get very far. Secondly, I found out that Calvin Glover was later convicted for the murder of Barry Winchell and was sentenced to serve a life sentence. Justin Fisher was sentenced in a plea bargain to 12.5 years.

So there I was at the age of nine-teen, filled with all this anger and frustration. But what did I do, NOTHING!!! I believed that one person couldn’t make a difference, so I put all my information I gathered together and put it in my desk drawer and put “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on a back burner in my mind.

Now lets fast forward to the year 2003. It has been nearly 4 years since Barry Winchell’s murder and I have all but forgotten his story. But then I saw an ad on television for a movie called “Soldier’s Girl”. I was glued to that thirty second preview of this movie. After the commercial ended I ran up to the guest room and retrieved a binder I placed there a few months earlier. I returned to the living room where my partner Darren was still sitting with a confused look on his face (okay, so he always looks at me that way). I opened the binder to a section that contained an article that I took out of my XY Magazine and also some print outs from AOL. As I explained to Darren that the movie preview we just saw was about the young man in that article.

When the movie finally aired on Showtime, I made sure I did not miss it. I sat there with tears in my eyes for most of this movie since I know the outcome. For me watching “Solder’s Girl” was like watching the “Laramie Project” for both movies teach us what raw hatred can do.

I am proud to say that the movie “Solder’s Girl” received a Peabody Award and numerous Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. Yet, I was ecstatic when the movie sparked a renewed debate of the effects of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

I know, you are wondering if I got involved then on the debate of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and I have to answer with a sad no. I sat there while I watched Washington push the issue back to the curbside and pretend like it isn’t an issue. And most of America agreed with them and we let the debate rest once again.

Now lets return to present time. It has been a little over ten years since Barry Winchell’s murder. Justin Fisher has completed the prison term deemed appropriate by the government and now walks as a free man as of October 2008. Both former President Bill Clinton and current President Barack Obama’s promises to dismantle the codified culture of homophobia in the US Military stands unfulfilled.

The real cost of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” has always been the human one. But now we see that it is also the lives and careers of thousands of American soldiers who would have been willing and proud to lay their lives down in the service of their fellow Americans.

As for me, the passion I found when I picked up and read that article back in 1999 has been rekindled. And even though it has taken me a little more then ten years to get to this point, I am finally here and I am not going anywhere. I realized that around 75% of Americans support the complete repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” but yet the Obama administration continues to hesitate about taking action against this policy. If you ask me I think they are stalling once again and are hoping that people like me and all the others who let it go by the wayside in 1999 and in 2003, will let it go back there again. But I finally realized that I need to stay in this fight until President Obama keeps one of most important campaign promises he made to me and my community and overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

So what I am asking of all of you is that as you read all these news articles about Obama saying he is going to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, or you see Army Secretary John McHugh say that the Army can handle the lifting of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” please do not celebrate. For saying something and doing it or two totally different things. Believe me I know from experience.

MJ

Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Transphobia Has Got To Go!!!

As many of you already know, this past Friday night I went to support a protest of Hunters Nightclub. A lot of people were asking me what brought on this protest. I very quickly explain to them about the discrimination of my fellow Transgender brothers and sisters. Well I wanted to take the opportunity now to explain the whole situation, starting from the beginning.

Hunters Nightclub, a gay bar located in Elk Grove Village, implemented a new door policy back in August. This new policy known as the “Two Faces, Two IDs” policy bans
people whose ID pictures do not match their gender presentation. When this policy was introduced it received international media attention. One of the managers of the bar came out at that time and said that there were state and county laws that supported their decision to enact this new policy. Many people decided to research these alleged laws, but were unable to come up with any of them. Yet, even after this was brought up, nothing happened and the policy want unchallenged by anyone for nearly two months.

Come on people, we all fucking know that Hunters created this “policy” so it can keep the transgender people out. I am not going to tiptoe around the issue that there is a problem with hookers around that bar, but come on not every transgender person is a hooker. In fact hookers come in every sexual orientation or gender. So if the issue becomes male hookers, is the bar going to make a policy to try to ban the whole male population? That is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. This whole issue is a wonderful example of “profiling” and needs to stop immediately.

Okay, sorry about my rant. Back to the reason of this post.

At the beginning of October, a few members of many different ages and backgrounds of the transgender community got feed up of the lack of action being taken against Hunters and decided to take action. They met to discuss how to respond to Hunters “Two Faces, Two IDs” door policy. They reached out to other GLBTI groups in the community and asked everyone them to spread the word of a protest at Hunters on October 23rd. The protest main goal was to challenge Hunters new policy and have them over turn it. The organizers asked everyone who was coming for the protest to dress up in drag.

Well the night turned out like this: There were over forty people out on Friday night standing in the freezing cold parking lot waiting to challenge the new policy at Hunters. As we all made our way into the bar, two of us were turned away. The remaining people who were able to make it into the bar, were asked to leave the bar about an hour later. To clarify on this part a little; we were asking the manager about the policy and why they allowed some of us in and not others and next thing I know we were being asked to leave. I can not comment on what was being said between our organizers and the management at Hunters for I was not there for the whole conversation. I just know that after we were asked to leave, most of us braved the cold temperatures outside because Patrick Volkert, a manager at Hunters, agreed to talk to us. We all waited for him to come out and talk to us. When he finally did come out, he would only talk to the group organizer. So the rest of us waited in the parking lot, talking and sharing stories until the meeting was done.

When the meeting was over we were told that our demand that Hunters repeal the policy was denied and so we decided to boycott Hunters.

So I am asking all my friends, no matter of sexual orientation or gender to boycott Hunters Nightclub effective immediately. And please do not stop boycotting until Hunters publicly repeals their “Two faces, Two IDs,” door policy.

And remember, “Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Transphobia has got to go!”

MJ

PS. . . About the picture above. MY friend Andrea Crain provided this photo of me from the event. It is of my attempt at drag. I went as a Glam Rocker version of a prudish woman like Barbra Bush. Okay really I couldn't get my wig to work out the way I wanted and I did not want to let anyone down so I dressed up with the thought that why fit in, when we are meant to stand out from the crowd.

Equal protection for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states. Now.

So I have been struggling with whether or not to post this post for over a week. For how could I talk about all the sweat and tears that went into getting involved with the Chicago’s chapter of Join The Impact and our hard work to get buses to the Equality March on Washington D.C. without pulling up a mixture of emotions. I am not talking about the bus issue, for that has been covered in a pervious blog of mine. I am talking about the disgust I felt toward myself for not getting involved sooner. I was a very sheltered guy from Cortland, Illinois who looked at the march on Washington D.C. thirty years ago as a failure. Don’t get mad at me, but that was my own opinion.

As I got to know different folks from Join the Impact Chicago I learned that the problem with the march in 1979 was that their list of demands were to specific. They demanded protection for all gay and lesbian people comparable to those in the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the repeal of laws expressly discriminating against gay and lesbian people, an enactment of laws establishing gay and lesbian parents’ rights, and the protecting of gay and lesbian youth from harm. So as we and other grassroots organizations started to plan out the demands for the march that happened on October 11th, we came up with only one simple demand. We demanded “Equal protection for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states. Now.” This one single demand is a huge change from the state of gay rights activism thirty years ago. For this new message is one of unity.

Also before joining JTIC (Join The Impact Chicago) I was a member of HRC (Human Rights Campaign). I thought if I sent them my monthly check I was doing my part of helping the GLBTI community. But boy was I wrong. As I got more involved with JTIC I began to notice that it was these grassroots activist from around the country that are going to make a difference and not the established GLBTI groups in Washington D.C. like HRC.

I was also amazed to see that we had a lot of young grassroots activist whom were inspired by President Obama and outraged by the passage Proposition 8, California’s gay marriage ban out their fighting for equality for everyone. But what really amazed me the most was a specific member of JTIC. His name is Jerry Pritikin and he is one of the most fascinating people I ever had the pleasure to get to know. Just getting to know Jerry and the struggles he had during the gay movement of the 1970’s makes me have a more profound respect for the older generation of GLBTI activists who paved the road that made it possible for us to have our Equality March on Washington D.C. back on October 11th.

“Okay, get back on track MJ…”

As JTIC and other grassroots organizations’ worked on the Equality March we met with some infighting among larger GLBTI activist groups in our community. We were told that it wasn’t wise for us to hold a march on Washington D.C. this soon. That we would never pull it together in time. We were told we should wait till the timing was better. But we did not listen to those groups and we forged forward on our quest to pull together a march on Washington D.C. for equal rights for everyone.

Okay, I understand that all this infighting is part of political organizing. There is always going to be disputes when you decide to stage a national political demonstration that is going to portray a public face on GLBTI equality to America. Yet as a community shouldn’t we all be on the same page and demand this rights now rather then later. I mean aren’t we tired of being second class citizens?

Our little group of GLBTSA (yes I added S and A, but that is because we do have wonderful straight allies fighting along side us in JTIC) activist worked as hard as we could to get as many people from Chicago to Washington D.C.. When we first started planning this back in August we set our goal at getting one bus of 53 people to the March. We started off hitting the pavement running. We had people out on the streets flyering. We then got the great Cleve Jones to come out and speak at an event (which to this day remains one of the coolest days of my life). We hosted three wonderful fundraisers (Early to Bed, Glenwood, and Hydrate) where these local businesses allowed us to use their space to fight for Equality. And as time went by we went from one bus to two. Then two to three. And finally three to four. That means that we got two hundred and twelve people to decide to ride the bus and fight for equality. It is funny looking back on that first meeting and remembering how we were worried we weren’t even going to be able to fill that first bus.

To no ones fault only three of the four buses would make it to Washington D.C.. As I stated in an earlier post, emotions were running wild in Ohio and on the trip back to Chicago. Yet a group of the fifty-three returnees stuck out the cold of Chicago by hanging out at Union Station before heading to the solidarity rally being held in Chicago. During this time was when the fire within me got relit and I realized that even with this minor setback, nothing was going to stop me from achieving my goal of equality for everyone in all fifty states.

As my friends started to report back to me about the march I was well at first pissed because I wasn’t there, but then I was overjoyed to learn two really great things happened. The first was that it wasn’t only the GLBTI community that came out in force, but also our straight allies also played a large role in this march. But the biggest thing that cheered me up was when my friend told me that the rainbow flag had replaced the Human Rights Campaign logo that was popular at the 2000 march on Washington D.C.. This is more of a personal joy, because as a grassroots organizer of this march, I rather the credit go to the GLBT community instead of a group who claims to represent us in Washington D.C. but yet did nothing for this march.

Now onto my doubting Thomas part of my post. It still remains to be seen whether two hundred plus people congregating in downtown Washington will convince Congress and the White House to take action on a range of issues, from the Defense of Marriage Act to employment non-discrimination. We have to remember that the gay civil rights bill never materialized after the march in 1979. So I hope that this march will prove to be the one that helps GLBTI activists and the ordinary Americans to unite and thrive toward change in a way they haven’t before. Hell, it’s worth a try.

MJ

Gay Marriage Leaves Door Open for Satan to Take Your Children.

Okay on Monday I posted a blog and made a silly little comment saying that “… if two gays or two lesbians get married we open the gates of hell and Satan comes and takes your children….”

I was surprised at how many people sent me e-mails and took offense to what I had to say. These people apparently had "spoken" with God and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of The 700 Club.

The small controversy all started when I posted a blog on Monday about Fight the Good Fight [CCL of Maine/MFPC] where they mention they need to fight against gay equality for the children of Maine.

Well if they get to rattle off what they believe, then I can do the same thing. So let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true.

* I am a person who believes that I was born gay. I don't think I hade any control over whom I was attracted to. That's why it's called an attraction and not a choice.

* I honestly believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers could see that there was a need to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (On a related note: I do find it kind of funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was added in the1950’s during the communism scare of the McCarthy era.)

* I believe the fact that an atheist is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is subjective.

* I believe that their isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Yet I am amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing to spend millions of dollars on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married. Yet if you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?

Now I will leave you with a question. Please explain to me how my conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all?

MJ

I Hate the Gay Alphabet

As I was searching news stories to report on today, I came across the Politically Correct name for gay community and it is GLBTIQSAF. What the FUCK? Are they serious? This is our name? This is our Politically Correct community name? Come on wouldn’t you feel a little silly writing all that out? Because I know I do. Here’s what I suggest we do about it…

First off we need to talk about what all of this gay alphabet means:

G = Gay
L = Lesbian
B = Bi-Sexual
T = Transgender
I = Inter-Sex
Q = Queer and Questioning
F = Friends and Family
S = Straight Supporter
A = Alliance or Alley

And here is the most confusing part of this name… People freely switch the letters around or drop them completely. Depending of course on their own personal issues and identifiers.

For example:

GLBT or LGBT = Some one who identifies more with Gay or Lesbian and not so keen on the other groups that got left out. Or just not up on all the other “letters” issues.

GLBTI or LGBTI= Same thing as above but knows more about the “I” and is trying to include everyone.

GLBTQI or LGBTQI = Is someone who wants to represent those that are struggling with coming out. Typically people who aren’t out or had a very hard time coming out.

But really, this all boils down to people trying to be somewhat Politically Correct, or at least as much as they can stomach.

Now I know that the terms Gay Community or Gay and Lesbian Community can be a little divisive. I can see the logic there. It’s not just Gays and Lesbians fighting in this struggle for equality. Bisexuals, Transgender and Inter Sex need to be represented in the group. They are facing the same or similar issues of intolerance and injustice. But Friends/Family, Questioning, Supporters and Allies? Really?

Please don’t get me wrong. I love all my straight friends who support our movement. But why do you need to be included in our name. I know that you guys are there standing with us, but you guys are not us. Think about it for a second. You guys are supporters of the community, not part of it. We are not included in your guys politically Correct name as Friends/Family, Supporters and Allies. So please don’t get mad when I recommend we drop the FSA from our name.

Now on to my biggest pet peeve, the Questioning. I am sorry but you either are or you aren’t. Do you know that we are the ONLY group that includes questioning as a class of “members”. Besides, most people who are questioning their sexuality tend to designate themselves as bisexual. At least until they know for sure or feel comfortable being one way or the other. So say bye-bye to the Q from our name.

Now to get rid of them all, mwahaha! Like I said before I get the divisive nature of the terms Gay Community and Gay and Lesbian Community. But what’s wrong with Queer? The term Queer Community can include everyone with out any special place holders or rules of order. Plus, Queer is such a powerful word. It even sounds less…well pansy-ish.

Would you mess with a Queer? Of course not, they’ll cut ya. But a GLBTIer… that just sounds lame. So, I’m casting my vote for Queer.

MJ