As I lie on a cold floor naked, stripped of my dignity; shimmering tears cascade through the void of my existence. Inside, there is a war of the flames of my desire versus my cold reality. Shards of ice melt in the dreams of a better tomorrow. A chaotic peacefulness results in the man you see before you. I come from a dark place where the shadows themselves have gone mad. I sit quietly with my loneliness crying out to be silenced. Yet, my primal rage of hate and craving for vengeance burns brightly. The freedom to destroy the happiness of the one who put me her rest in one hand. In the other, the dreams of my own happiness involves the same person I would hurt.
I feel damned to this isolation. . . Barred from the joys of other humans. I scream for release, but my pleas are ignored. I am left alone to sit quietly within the shadows. I can hear the sound of my heart beating in my ears. I cry-out for help once more, and again no one responds. I try to escape, but the room is impossible to penetrate.
I start to think back to that moment only days before, when I told him it was over. I wonder how I could have walked away so easily. I guess I became so engrossed in my own needs that I lose sight of all else. Before I know it, the love was gone and I left.
Now I find myself in this room looking for an explanation of why I did the things I did. He did nothing by treasured my secrets as if they were jewels. He provided me a place to rest. But in the comfort of his arms, I betrayed his sanctuary. I watched helplessly as our bridge burned out of control. I couldn’t do anything to stop the inferno from consuming everything we have built together. How can I have set fire to a work of such magnificence? I left him standing there, begging me to reconsider. Begging me to stay?
I begin to shiver in a cold sweat as the darkness of my prison devours me once again. I cry out for help again, but again my cries are not heard. I now find myself begging with all my heart's power. I am tired of screaming, but I cannot stop. Maybe, just maybe, he will show me mercy and set me free. I hear footsteps. He is coming. Have my screams worked? Yes!
He opens the door to my prison but I cannot stand. My legs are too weak. I realize then, as I cry for his help, that he has not come to release me. He has come to finish me off. I notice a long object in his hand. It is a lead pipe. He holds it over his head with one hand and with a single powerful blow, he strikes and breaks what is left of my legs. I scream. The pain is too much. I beg to die. Death is now paradise. Heaven or Hell? I do not care. I just want to fucking die. Again, his overwhelming strength thrusts his weapon upon me. This time my back. Both shoulder blades are shattered and I suddenly can no longer feel my legs. He has destroyed a part of my spine, it seems. And he walks away.
For twenty minutes, I experience the worst pain imaginable. I begin thinking of ways to kill myself. Is it possible? And then the pain takes over again. I see flashes of light and hear voices calling me from my past. I try to block out the light; I close my eyes very tight. I still see the light and hear the voices coming back to haunt me. Words that tear at my heart and devour my soul like vultures. Sweat pours from my body and makes me shiver. There is no escape from the agony and pain that torments me.
It fells like an eternity when he returns, but this time he has a chain with a hook on the end of it. He reaches down grabs my arm with so power that it breaks in a twist. I can see my forearm protruding from my elbow. He starts pulling me violently by my now broken arm over rocky ground to a hanging conveyor belt. My capturer then inserts his hook into the back of my neck, not caring whether its penetration will kill me or not. And unfortunately, it does not.
By the other end of the chain, he hoists me to the conveyor belt and hangs me there. My vision is patchy, everything is a blur. Blood begins to drip into my eyes. My pain is beginning to subside. Death is near. My heart begins to weaken; and my body can take no more and finally gives way to death.
Death has claimed yet another that was selfish. He will soon be placed in a grave and left to rot. A few kind words will be said to please the few who have gathered. Some may shed a few tears at his grave side, as is expected at a funeral. But in the end they will walk away, never to remember him again.
Hope you didn’t mind that I took a break today and just posted a little Halloween treat for your reading please. Hope you enjoyed my little story.
MJ
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
National Week of Initiative
This coming week (November 1st–8th) is being known as the National Week of Initiative among the LGBTI activist community. What this means is that we are asking everyone who supports equality for all Americans to get out and have our voices heard. . .
I know when I first started getting active I was always wondering what can just one person do. As time went on I have developed a list of things that one person can do to help out.
1.) Write a hand written letter to BOTH your state and federal Representative and Senator. My friend Nik of JTIC said at the Report-Back from Washington D.C. meeting that if we send hand written letters rather then e-mails it helps personalize the movement. Also if you do not know who your Representatives are check out www.votesmart.org.
2.) Contact your local media be it television, newspaper, magazine, radio or even podcast. Write them a letter or e-mail and voice your opinion on the issue of full equality for everyone. Let them know they have viewers, readers or listeners who do care about this issue and want to spread the word.
3.) Have a face-to-face with your local representative. If you want take a few people from your district with you so they can see that they have delegates in their district who support equality for all people.
4.) Have coffee or dinner with your neighbors, friends and/or family and discuss the importance of full equality for everyone.
5.) Create a viral video and post it to sites like youtube, facebook or on a blog. Your video can be from just a slideshow with text and music, to changing the words to a song to make it about equality and perform it live on the streets.
6.) Host a movie screening night at your house with friends and family. Watch movies like “Milk”, “Solder’s Girl” or “Laramie Project” and then discuss the importance of these films and the struggle that all LGBTI people still face today.
7.) Find a group or organization and get involved. There are a tons of local groups one can get involved with. Here are links to a few local Chicago groups;
A. http://www.jointheimpactchicago.com
B. http://www.genderqueerchicago.blogspot.com
C. http://www.LGBTChange.org
As for me I can tell you that I have already began to write my handwritten letters to both my federal and state Representative and Senator. I am involved with the wonderful group Join The Impact Chicago. I am going to be creating a press release comment about my blog to send to podcast and other forms of media. I would make a video, but the last one I made caused more embarrassment then anything. But trust me, I will be out there with fellow activist canvassing after work, where needed. I will be tabling if JTIC decided that is what we need to do.
Before I go I want to discuss one other huge thing happening next week. On Tuesday November 3rd residents of the state of Maine will vote on Proposition 1, a ballot measure that could take away the right of same-sex couples to marry in that state. Join The Impact Chicago is hosting a Proposition 1 Rally on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 from 5:30pm till 6:30pm at the James R. Thompson Center in Chicago. Please show your support for full equality in all 50 states and come out to the rally. It will either be a celebration or a protest depending on the outcome of Prop 1. Yet either way, it is a great way to network and continue our fight. Remember, the march on Washington D.C. was not the end of the battle, it was only the beginning. For more information check out the event page on Facebook… http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=199172736752&index=1
MJ
I know when I first started getting active I was always wondering what can just one person do. As time went on I have developed a list of things that one person can do to help out.
1.) Write a hand written letter to BOTH your state and federal Representative and Senator. My friend Nik of JTIC said at the Report-Back from Washington D.C. meeting that if we send hand written letters rather then e-mails it helps personalize the movement. Also if you do not know who your Representatives are check out www.votesmart.org.
2.) Contact your local media be it television, newspaper, magazine, radio or even podcast. Write them a letter or e-mail and voice your opinion on the issue of full equality for everyone. Let them know they have viewers, readers or listeners who do care about this issue and want to spread the word.
3.) Have a face-to-face with your local representative. If you want take a few people from your district with you so they can see that they have delegates in their district who support equality for all people.
4.) Have coffee or dinner with your neighbors, friends and/or family and discuss the importance of full equality for everyone.
5.) Create a viral video and post it to sites like youtube, facebook or on a blog. Your video can be from just a slideshow with text and music, to changing the words to a song to make it about equality and perform it live on the streets.
6.) Host a movie screening night at your house with friends and family. Watch movies like “Milk”, “Solder’s Girl” or “Laramie Project” and then discuss the importance of these films and the struggle that all LGBTI people still face today.
7.) Find a group or organization and get involved. There are a tons of local groups one can get involved with. Here are links to a few local Chicago groups;
A. http://www.jointheimpactchicago.com
B. http://www.genderqueerchicago.blogspot.com
C. http://www.LGBTChange.org
As for me I can tell you that I have already began to write my handwritten letters to both my federal and state Representative and Senator. I am involved with the wonderful group Join The Impact Chicago. I am going to be creating a press release comment about my blog to send to podcast and other forms of media. I would make a video, but the last one I made caused more embarrassment then anything. But trust me, I will be out there with fellow activist canvassing after work, where needed. I will be tabling if JTIC decided that is what we need to do.
Before I go I want to discuss one other huge thing happening next week. On Tuesday November 3rd residents of the state of Maine will vote on Proposition 1, a ballot measure that could take away the right of same-sex couples to marry in that state. Join The Impact Chicago is hosting a Proposition 1 Rally on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 from 5:30pm till 6:30pm at the James R. Thompson Center in Chicago. Please show your support for full equality in all 50 states and come out to the rally. It will either be a celebration or a protest depending on the outcome of Prop 1. Yet either way, it is a great way to network and continue our fight. Remember, the march on Washington D.C. was not the end of the battle, it was only the beginning. For more information check out the event page on Facebook… http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=199172736752&index=1
MJ
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Saying Something and Doing It Are Two Different Things.
If I were to throw some names at you, could you tell me what they have in common? Well lets give it a try; Allen Schindler, Timothy McVeigh, Barry Winchell and Dan Choi. All four of these man have something to do with the military policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.
Allen Schindler was murdered by his fellow sailors on October 27th, 1992. Timothy McVeigh became the first person to win a case against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in 1998. Barry Winchell was murdered by a fellow soldier on July 5th, 1999. Dan Choi publicly came out in March of this year and was discharged from the Army.
Even though there are hundreds if not thousands of other cases of people affected by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, I wanted to spend some time talking about one that has had the most influence on me.
I first came across the name Barry Winchell in the summer of 1999. I just received my latest copy of XY Magazine ( a gay themed magazine for gay youth) and I was flipping through it and started to read the articles. This issue touched on the subject of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. It included bios of service members who were dishonorable discharged from the military after they found out they were gay or lesbian. But the article I remembered the most was the feature article. It was about a young straight solder who was brutally beaten in the early morning of July 5th of that year.
You are wondering why a gay magazine ran an article about a straight solder under it’s segment of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Well let me explain. Barry Winchell, had fallen in love with a beautiful transgendered woman named Calpernia Addam, whom he met at a nightclub in Nashville. Justin Fisher, Barry’s roommate, began spreading rumors of the relationship at Ft. Campbell. Barry then became a target of ongoing harassment from his fellow solders. Justin Fisher started to refer to Barry as “the faggot”. There wasn’t anything Barry could of done to stop the harassment or name calling because of the terms under the policy of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell”. So Barry had no choice but to keep his head down and endure the increasing brutality, for if he were to mention it to anyone, it would have meant an immediate dishonorable discharge from the Army. So Barry kept the abuse to himself and became a victim to the policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.
The article went on to say that on July 4th, Barry and a fellow soldier named Calvin Glover, fought after Barry accused a boasting Calvin of being a fraud. Both men were drinking beer throughout the day. Later in the day, Justin, whom by now had his own history of physical altercations with Barry, began to irritate and provoke the nineteen year old Calvin. Justin taunted Calvin by saying, “What sort of a real man would lose a fight to a faggot like Barry Winchell?”
That night Justin and Barry had another one of their altercations and Barry went to sleep on a cot outside the room he shared with Fisher. Around midnight Calvin took a baseball bat from Justin's locker and struck Barry as he slept. The bat struck Barry's head, face, and upper torso area, as if Calvin was trying to not only kill Barry, but to obliterate any trace of what he represented. Barry died of massive head injuries on July 6th.
That was where my article in XY Magazine left the story. After reading this article, I was pissed off so I decided to research Barry Winchell’s name on AOL (yes we didn’t have Google back in the day) to try and find any related information. In the following months after the article came out I have learned a few things. First, I learned that Barry's murder led then President Bill Clinton to order a review of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, but that really did not get very far. Secondly, I found out that Calvin Glover was later convicted for the murder of Barry Winchell and was sentenced to serve a life sentence. Justin Fisher was sentenced in a plea bargain to 12.5 years.
So there I was at the age of nine-teen, filled with all this anger and frustration. But what did I do, NOTHING!!! I believed that one person couldn’t make a difference, so I put all my information I gathered together and put it in my desk drawer and put “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on a back burner in my mind.
Now lets fast forward to the year 2003. It has been nearly 4 years since Barry Winchell’s murder and I have all but forgotten his story. But then I saw an ad on television for a movie called “Soldier’s Girl”. I was glued to that thirty second preview of this movie. After the commercial ended I ran up to the guest room and retrieved a binder I placed there a few months earlier. I returned to the living room where my partner Darren was still sitting with a confused look on his face (okay, so he always looks at me that way). I opened the binder to a section that contained an article that I took out of my XY Magazine and also some print outs from AOL. As I explained to Darren that the movie preview we just saw was about the young man in that article.
When the movie finally aired on Showtime, I made sure I did not miss it. I sat there with tears in my eyes for most of this movie since I know the outcome. For me watching “Solder’s Girl” was like watching the “Laramie Project” for both movies teach us what raw hatred can do.
I am proud to say that the movie “Solder’s Girl” received a Peabody Award and numerous Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. Yet, I was ecstatic when the movie sparked a renewed debate of the effects of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
I know, you are wondering if I got involved then on the debate of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and I have to answer with a sad no. I sat there while I watched Washington push the issue back to the curbside and pretend like it isn’t an issue. And most of America agreed with them and we let the debate rest once again.
Now lets return to present time. It has been a little over ten years since Barry Winchell’s murder. Justin Fisher has completed the prison term deemed appropriate by the government and now walks as a free man as of October 2008. Both former President Bill Clinton and current President Barack Obama’s promises to dismantle the codified culture of homophobia in the US Military stands unfulfilled.
The real cost of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” has always been the human one. But now we see that it is also the lives and careers of thousands of American soldiers who would have been willing and proud to lay their lives down in the service of their fellow Americans.
As for me, the passion I found when I picked up and read that article back in 1999 has been rekindled. And even though it has taken me a little more then ten years to get to this point, I am finally here and I am not going anywhere. I realized that around 75% of Americans support the complete repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” but yet the Obama administration continues to hesitate about taking action against this policy. If you ask me I think they are stalling once again and are hoping that people like me and all the others who let it go by the wayside in 1999 and in 2003, will let it go back there again. But I finally realized that I need to stay in this fight until President Obama keeps one of most important campaign promises he made to me and my community and overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.
So what I am asking of all of you is that as you read all these news articles about Obama saying he is going to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, or you see Army Secretary John McHugh say that the Army can handle the lifting of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” please do not celebrate. For saying something and doing it or two totally different things. Believe me I know from experience.
MJ
Allen Schindler was murdered by his fellow sailors on October 27th, 1992. Timothy McVeigh became the first person to win a case against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in 1998. Barry Winchell was murdered by a fellow soldier on July 5th, 1999. Dan Choi publicly came out in March of this year and was discharged from the Army.
Even though there are hundreds if not thousands of other cases of people affected by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, I wanted to spend some time talking about one that has had the most influence on me.
I first came across the name Barry Winchell in the summer of 1999. I just received my latest copy of XY Magazine ( a gay themed magazine for gay youth) and I was flipping through it and started to read the articles. This issue touched on the subject of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. It included bios of service members who were dishonorable discharged from the military after they found out they were gay or lesbian. But the article I remembered the most was the feature article. It was about a young straight solder who was brutally beaten in the early morning of July 5th of that year.
You are wondering why a gay magazine ran an article about a straight solder under it’s segment of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Well let me explain. Barry Winchell, had fallen in love with a beautiful transgendered woman named Calpernia Addam, whom he met at a nightclub in Nashville. Justin Fisher, Barry’s roommate, began spreading rumors of the relationship at Ft. Campbell. Barry then became a target of ongoing harassment from his fellow solders. Justin Fisher started to refer to Barry as “the faggot”. There wasn’t anything Barry could of done to stop the harassment or name calling because of the terms under the policy of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell”. So Barry had no choice but to keep his head down and endure the increasing brutality, for if he were to mention it to anyone, it would have meant an immediate dishonorable discharge from the Army. So Barry kept the abuse to himself and became a victim to the policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.
The article went on to say that on July 4th, Barry and a fellow soldier named Calvin Glover, fought after Barry accused a boasting Calvin of being a fraud. Both men were drinking beer throughout the day. Later in the day, Justin, whom by now had his own history of physical altercations with Barry, began to irritate and provoke the nineteen year old Calvin. Justin taunted Calvin by saying, “What sort of a real man would lose a fight to a faggot like Barry Winchell?”
That night Justin and Barry had another one of their altercations and Barry went to sleep on a cot outside the room he shared with Fisher. Around midnight Calvin took a baseball bat from Justin's locker and struck Barry as he slept. The bat struck Barry's head, face, and upper torso area, as if Calvin was trying to not only kill Barry, but to obliterate any trace of what he represented. Barry died of massive head injuries on July 6th.
That was where my article in XY Magazine left the story. After reading this article, I was pissed off so I decided to research Barry Winchell’s name on AOL (yes we didn’t have Google back in the day) to try and find any related information. In the following months after the article came out I have learned a few things. First, I learned that Barry's murder led then President Bill Clinton to order a review of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, but that really did not get very far. Secondly, I found out that Calvin Glover was later convicted for the murder of Barry Winchell and was sentenced to serve a life sentence. Justin Fisher was sentenced in a plea bargain to 12.5 years.
So there I was at the age of nine-teen, filled with all this anger and frustration. But what did I do, NOTHING!!! I believed that one person couldn’t make a difference, so I put all my information I gathered together and put it in my desk drawer and put “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on a back burner in my mind.
Now lets fast forward to the year 2003. It has been nearly 4 years since Barry Winchell’s murder and I have all but forgotten his story. But then I saw an ad on television for a movie called “Soldier’s Girl”. I was glued to that thirty second preview of this movie. After the commercial ended I ran up to the guest room and retrieved a binder I placed there a few months earlier. I returned to the living room where my partner Darren was still sitting with a confused look on his face (okay, so he always looks at me that way). I opened the binder to a section that contained an article that I took out of my XY Magazine and also some print outs from AOL. As I explained to Darren that the movie preview we just saw was about the young man in that article.
When the movie finally aired on Showtime, I made sure I did not miss it. I sat there with tears in my eyes for most of this movie since I know the outcome. For me watching “Solder’s Girl” was like watching the “Laramie Project” for both movies teach us what raw hatred can do.
I am proud to say that the movie “Solder’s Girl” received a Peabody Award and numerous Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. Yet, I was ecstatic when the movie sparked a renewed debate of the effects of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
I know, you are wondering if I got involved then on the debate of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and I have to answer with a sad no. I sat there while I watched Washington push the issue back to the curbside and pretend like it isn’t an issue. And most of America agreed with them and we let the debate rest once again.
Now lets return to present time. It has been a little over ten years since Barry Winchell’s murder. Justin Fisher has completed the prison term deemed appropriate by the government and now walks as a free man as of October 2008. Both former President Bill Clinton and current President Barack Obama’s promises to dismantle the codified culture of homophobia in the US Military stands unfulfilled.
The real cost of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” has always been the human one. But now we see that it is also the lives and careers of thousands of American soldiers who would have been willing and proud to lay their lives down in the service of their fellow Americans.
As for me, the passion I found when I picked up and read that article back in 1999 has been rekindled. And even though it has taken me a little more then ten years to get to this point, I am finally here and I am not going anywhere. I realized that around 75% of Americans support the complete repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” but yet the Obama administration continues to hesitate about taking action against this policy. If you ask me I think they are stalling once again and are hoping that people like me and all the others who let it go by the wayside in 1999 and in 2003, will let it go back there again. But I finally realized that I need to stay in this fight until President Obama keeps one of most important campaign promises he made to me and my community and overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.
So what I am asking of all of you is that as you read all these news articles about Obama saying he is going to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, or you see Army Secretary John McHugh say that the Army can handle the lifting of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” please do not celebrate. For saying something and doing it or two totally different things. Believe me I know from experience.
MJ
Monday, October 26, 2009
Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Transphobia Has Got To Go!!!
As many of you already know, this past Friday night I went to support a protest of Hunters Nightclub. A lot of people were asking me what brought on this protest. I very quickly explain to them about the discrimination of my fellow Transgender brothers and sisters. Well I wanted to take the opportunity now to explain the whole situation, starting from the beginning.
Hunters Nightclub, a gay bar located in Elk Grove Village, implemented a new door policy back in August. This new policy known as the “Two Faces, Two IDs” policy bans
people whose ID pictures do not match their gender presentation. When this policy was introduced it received international media attention. One of the managers of the bar came out at that time and said that there were state and county laws that supported their decision to enact this new policy. Many people decided to research these alleged laws, but were unable to come up with any of them. Yet, even after this was brought up, nothing happened and the policy want unchallenged by anyone for nearly two months.
Come on people, we all fucking know that Hunters created this “policy” so it can keep the transgender people out. I am not going to tiptoe around the issue that there is a problem with hookers around that bar, but come on not every transgender person is a hooker. In fact hookers come in every sexual orientation or gender. So if the issue becomes male hookers, is the bar going to make a policy to try to ban the whole male population? That is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. This whole issue is a wonderful example of “profiling” and needs to stop immediately.
Okay, sorry about my rant. Back to the reason of this post.
At the beginning of October, a few members of many different ages and backgrounds of the transgender community got feed up of the lack of action being taken against Hunters and decided to take action. They met to discuss how to respond to Hunters “Two Faces, Two IDs” door policy. They reached out to other GLBTI groups in the community and asked everyone them to spread the word of a protest at Hunters on October 23rd. The protest main goal was to challenge Hunters new policy and have them over turn it. The organizers asked everyone who was coming for the protest to dress up in drag.
Well the night turned out like this: There were over forty people out on Friday night standing in the freezing cold parking lot waiting to challenge the new policy at Hunters. As we all made our way into the bar, two of us were turned away. The remaining people who were able to make it into the bar, were asked to leave the bar about an hour later. To clarify on this part a little; we were asking the manager about the policy and why they allowed some of us in and not others and next thing I know we were being asked to leave. I can not comment on what was being said between our organizers and the management at Hunters for I was not there for the whole conversation. I just know that after we were asked to leave, most of us braved the cold temperatures outside because Patrick Volkert, a manager at Hunters, agreed to talk to us. We all waited for him to come out and talk to us. When he finally did come out, he would only talk to the group organizer. So the rest of us waited in the parking lot, talking and sharing stories until the meeting was done.
When the meeting was over we were told that our demand that Hunters repeal the policy was denied and so we decided to boycott Hunters.
So I am asking all my friends, no matter of sexual orientation or gender to boycott Hunters Nightclub effective immediately. And please do not stop boycotting until Hunters publicly repeals their “Two faces, Two IDs,” door policy.
And remember, “Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Transphobia has got to go!”
MJ
PS. . . About the picture above. MY friend Andrea Crain provided this photo of me from the event. It is of my attempt at drag. I went as a Glam Rocker version of a prudish woman like Barbra Bush. Okay really I couldn't get my wig to work out the way I wanted and I did not want to let anyone down so I dressed up with the thought that why fit in, when we are meant to stand out from the crowd.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Equal protection for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states. Now.
So I have been struggling with whether or not to post this post for over a week. For how could I talk about all the sweat and tears that went into getting involved with the Chicago’s chapter of Join The Impact and our hard work to get buses to the Equality March on Washington D.C. without pulling up a mixture of emotions. I am not talking about the bus issue, for that has been covered in a pervious blog of mine. I am talking about the disgust I felt toward myself for not getting involved sooner. I was a very sheltered guy from Cortland, Illinois who looked at the march on Washington D.C. thirty years ago as a failure. Don’t get mad at me, but that was my own opinion.
As I got to know different folks from Join the Impact Chicago I learned that the problem with the march in 1979 was that their list of demands were to specific. They demanded protection for all gay and lesbian people comparable to those in the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the repeal of laws expressly discriminating against gay and lesbian people, an enactment of laws establishing gay and lesbian parents’ rights, and the protecting of gay and lesbian youth from harm. So as we and other grassroots organizations started to plan out the demands for the march that happened on October 11th, we came up with only one simple demand. We demanded “Equal protection for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states. Now.” This one single demand is a huge change from the state of gay rights activism thirty years ago. For this new message is one of unity.
Also before joining JTIC (Join The Impact Chicago) I was a member of HRC (Human Rights Campaign). I thought if I sent them my monthly check I was doing my part of helping the GLBTI community. But boy was I wrong. As I got more involved with JTIC I began to notice that it was these grassroots activist from around the country that are going to make a difference and not the established GLBTI groups in Washington D.C. like HRC.
I was also amazed to see that we had a lot of young grassroots activist whom were inspired by President Obama and outraged by the passage Proposition 8, California’s gay marriage ban out their fighting for equality for everyone. But what really amazed me the most was a specific member of JTIC. His name is Jerry Pritikin and he is one of the most fascinating people I ever had the pleasure to get to know. Just getting to know Jerry and the struggles he had during the gay movement of the 1970’s makes me have a more profound respect for the older generation of GLBTI activists who paved the road that made it possible for us to have our Equality March on Washington D.C. back on October 11th.
“Okay, get back on track MJ…”
As JTIC and other grassroots organizations’ worked on the Equality March we met with some infighting among larger GLBTI activist groups in our community. We were told that it wasn’t wise for us to hold a march on Washington D.C. this soon. That we would never pull it together in time. We were told we should wait till the timing was better. But we did not listen to those groups and we forged forward on our quest to pull together a march on Washington D.C. for equal rights for everyone.
Okay, I understand that all this infighting is part of political organizing. There is always going to be disputes when you decide to stage a national political demonstration that is going to portray a public face on GLBTI equality to America. Yet as a community shouldn’t we all be on the same page and demand this rights now rather then later. I mean aren’t we tired of being second class citizens?
Our little group of GLBTSA (yes I added S and A, but that is because we do have wonderful straight allies fighting along side us in JTIC) activist worked as hard as we could to get as many people from Chicago to Washington D.C.. When we first started planning this back in August we set our goal at getting one bus of 53 people to the March. We started off hitting the pavement running. We had people out on the streets flyering. We then got the great Cleve Jones to come out and speak at an event (which to this day remains one of the coolest days of my life). We hosted three wonderful fundraisers (Early to Bed, Glenwood, and Hydrate) where these local businesses allowed us to use their space to fight for Equality. And as time went by we went from one bus to two. Then two to three. And finally three to four. That means that we got two hundred and twelve people to decide to ride the bus and fight for equality. It is funny looking back on that first meeting and remembering how we were worried we weren’t even going to be able to fill that first bus.
To no ones fault only three of the four buses would make it to Washington D.C.. As I stated in an earlier post, emotions were running wild in Ohio and on the trip back to Chicago. Yet a group of the fifty-three returnees stuck out the cold of Chicago by hanging out at Union Station before heading to the solidarity rally being held in Chicago. During this time was when the fire within me got relit and I realized that even with this minor setback, nothing was going to stop me from achieving my goal of equality for everyone in all fifty states.
As my friends started to report back to me about the march I was well at first pissed because I wasn’t there, but then I was overjoyed to learn two really great things happened. The first was that it wasn’t only the GLBTI community that came out in force, but also our straight allies also played a large role in this march. But the biggest thing that cheered me up was when my friend told me that the rainbow flag had replaced the Human Rights Campaign logo that was popular at the 2000 march on Washington D.C.. This is more of a personal joy, because as a grassroots organizer of this march, I rather the credit go to the GLBT community instead of a group who claims to represent us in Washington D.C. but yet did nothing for this march.
Now onto my doubting Thomas part of my post. It still remains to be seen whether two hundred plus people congregating in downtown Washington will convince Congress and the White House to take action on a range of issues, from the Defense of Marriage Act to employment non-discrimination. We have to remember that the gay civil rights bill never materialized after the march in 1979. So I hope that this march will prove to be the one that helps GLBTI activists and the ordinary Americans to unite and thrive toward change in a way they haven’t before. Hell, it’s worth a try.
MJ
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Gay Marriage Leaves Door Open for Satan to Take Your Children.
Okay on Monday I posted a blog and made a silly little comment saying that “… if two gays or two lesbians get married we open the gates of hell and Satan comes and takes your children….”
I was surprised at how many people sent me e-mails and took offense to what I had to say. These people apparently had "spoken" with God and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of The 700 Club.
The small controversy all started when I posted a blog on Monday about Fight the Good Fight [CCL of Maine/MFPC] where they mention they need to fight against gay equality for the children of Maine.
Well if they get to rattle off what they believe, then I can do the same thing. So let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true.
* I am a person who believes that I was born gay. I don't think I hade any control over whom I was attracted to. That's why it's called an attraction and not a choice.
* I honestly believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers could see that there was a need to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (On a related note: I do find it kind of funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was added in the1950’s during the communism scare of the McCarthy era.)
* I believe the fact that an atheist is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is subjective.
* I believe that their isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Yet I am amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing to spend millions of dollars on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married. Yet if you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?
Now I will leave you with a question. Please explain to me how my conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all?
MJ
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I Hate the Gay Alphabet
As I was searching news stories to report on today, I came across the Politically Correct name for gay community and it is GLBTIQSAF. What the FUCK? Are they serious? This is our name? This is our Politically Correct community name? Come on wouldn’t you feel a little silly writing all that out? Because I know I do. Here’s what I suggest we do about it…
First off we need to talk about what all of this gay alphabet means:
G = Gay
L = Lesbian
B = Bi-Sexual
T = Transgender
I = Inter-Sex
Q = Queer and Questioning
F = Friends and Family
S = Straight Supporter
A = Alliance or Alley
And here is the most confusing part of this name… People freely switch the letters around or drop them completely. Depending of course on their own personal issues and identifiers.
For example:
GLBT or LGBT = Some one who identifies more with Gay or Lesbian and not so keen on the other groups that got left out. Or just not up on all the other “letters” issues.
GLBTI or LGBTI= Same thing as above but knows more about the “I” and is trying to include everyone.
GLBTQI or LGBTQI = Is someone who wants to represent those that are struggling with coming out. Typically people who aren’t out or had a very hard time coming out.
But really, this all boils down to people trying to be somewhat Politically Correct, or at least as much as they can stomach.
Now I know that the terms Gay Community or Gay and Lesbian Community can be a little divisive. I can see the logic there. It’s not just Gays and Lesbians fighting in this struggle for equality. Bisexuals, Transgender and Inter Sex need to be represented in the group. They are facing the same or similar issues of intolerance and injustice. But Friends/Family, Questioning, Supporters and Allies? Really?
Please don’t get me wrong. I love all my straight friends who support our movement. But why do you need to be included in our name. I know that you guys are there standing with us, but you guys are not us. Think about it for a second. You guys are supporters of the community, not part of it. We are not included in your guys politically Correct name as Friends/Family, Supporters and Allies. So please don’t get mad when I recommend we drop the FSA from our name.
Now on to my biggest pet peeve, the Questioning. I am sorry but you either are or you aren’t. Do you know that we are the ONLY group that includes questioning as a class of “members”. Besides, most people who are questioning their sexuality tend to designate themselves as bisexual. At least until they know for sure or feel comfortable being one way or the other. So say bye-bye to the Q from our name.
Now to get rid of them all, mwahaha! Like I said before I get the divisive nature of the terms Gay Community and Gay and Lesbian Community. But what’s wrong with Queer? The term Queer Community can include everyone with out any special place holders or rules of order. Plus, Queer is such a powerful word. It even sounds less…well pansy-ish.
Would you mess with a Queer? Of course not, they’ll cut ya. But a GLBTIer… that just sounds lame. So, I’m casting my vote for Queer.
MJ
First off we need to talk about what all of this gay alphabet means:
G = Gay
L = Lesbian
B = Bi-Sexual
T = Transgender
I = Inter-Sex
Q = Queer and Questioning
F = Friends and Family
S = Straight Supporter
A = Alliance or Alley
And here is the most confusing part of this name… People freely switch the letters around or drop them completely. Depending of course on their own personal issues and identifiers.
For example:
GLBT or LGBT = Some one who identifies more with Gay or Lesbian and not so keen on the other groups that got left out. Or just not up on all the other “letters” issues.
GLBTI or LGBTI= Same thing as above but knows more about the “I” and is trying to include everyone.
GLBTQI or LGBTQI = Is someone who wants to represent those that are struggling with coming out. Typically people who aren’t out or had a very hard time coming out.
But really, this all boils down to people trying to be somewhat Politically Correct, or at least as much as they can stomach.
Now I know that the terms Gay Community or Gay and Lesbian Community can be a little divisive. I can see the logic there. It’s not just Gays and Lesbians fighting in this struggle for equality. Bisexuals, Transgender and Inter Sex need to be represented in the group. They are facing the same or similar issues of intolerance and injustice. But Friends/Family, Questioning, Supporters and Allies? Really?
Please don’t get me wrong. I love all my straight friends who support our movement. But why do you need to be included in our name. I know that you guys are there standing with us, but you guys are not us. Think about it for a second. You guys are supporters of the community, not part of it. We are not included in your guys politically Correct name as Friends/Family, Supporters and Allies. So please don’t get mad when I recommend we drop the FSA from our name.
Now on to my biggest pet peeve, the Questioning. I am sorry but you either are or you aren’t. Do you know that we are the ONLY group that includes questioning as a class of “members”. Besides, most people who are questioning their sexuality tend to designate themselves as bisexual. At least until they know for sure or feel comfortable being one way or the other. So say bye-bye to the Q from our name.
Now to get rid of them all, mwahaha! Like I said before I get the divisive nature of the terms Gay Community and Gay and Lesbian Community. But what’s wrong with Queer? The term Queer Community can include everyone with out any special place holders or rules of order. Plus, Queer is such a powerful word. It even sounds less…well pansy-ish.
Would you mess with a Queer? Of course not, they’ll cut ya. But a GLBTIer… that just sounds lame. So, I’m casting my vote for Queer.
MJ
Monday, October 19, 2009
A No Vote for Question One in Maine, Is a Vote for Satan!
While Stand For Marriage Maine has been working all summer and fall to disconnect themselves from the rabidly anti-gay Christian Civic League of Maine/Maine Family Policy Council, we have well established that they do however have so many ties to them, that it's a wonder the two organizations can even fart without the other feeling a quiver. So with this being the case, perhaps it's time we stop judging Stand For Marriage Maine on the basis of the overly advised, carefully code worded, disingenuous press releases that they put out. Instead, we need to start listening to what their unabashedly straightforward cousins have to say about the Nov. 3 vote:
“It is a well-known fact that Satan will do everything in his power to tear down the walls of spiritual protection around those who are unaware of his devices. All serious parents are concerned about what the future holds for their children. We must stand up and fight!
The family is made up of one man and one woman who have left father and mother and cleave to one another and become one! That is the biblical definition of marriage. Every serious Christian must defend that definition and also stand up as an advocate, supporter and fan of a traditional home. The importance of voting "yes" on question 1 cannot be over stated.
Maine and America is in trouble. The homosexual life style is being widely accepted even to the point that some churches are voting to accept them in their pulpits. Bi-sexuals, cross dressers, and those who have had sex changes seem to be taking over our society . . . . God's Word calls it an abomination!
The enemy is hurling things at the church at an astonishing pace. As God fearing, Bible believing, Holy Spirit filled believers, we must defend our families from the attack of enemy forces.
Is anybody ready to stand and fight for their family? We have an opportunity on November 3rd to protect marriage and family by voting and encouraging everyone we know to vote “yes” on question one.
Fight the Good Fight [CCL of Maine/MFPC]”
I'm pleading with those people up in Maine to not vote for “yes” on question one to protect the close minded version of marriage, but vote “no” on question one to support equality. Sure, it may piss off some of those locals who have appointed themselves to live their lives on a holy moral pedestal to which the rest of us could only hope to aspire.
But honestly it's not even about us, our right as tax-paying citizens to have civil fairness, the preservation of civil rights in the face of majority tyranny, or the simple need for Maine to do the decent thing. And it's not about partisan politics. No, no -- it's about Satan trying to take over the children. Because if two gays or two lesbians get married we open the gates of hell and Satan comes and takes your children. . . .
MJ
“It is a well-known fact that Satan will do everything in his power to tear down the walls of spiritual protection around those who are unaware of his devices. All serious parents are concerned about what the future holds for their children. We must stand up and fight!
The family is made up of one man and one woman who have left father and mother and cleave to one another and become one! That is the biblical definition of marriage. Every serious Christian must defend that definition and also stand up as an advocate, supporter and fan of a traditional home. The importance of voting "yes" on question 1 cannot be over stated.
Maine and America is in trouble. The homosexual life style is being widely accepted even to the point that some churches are voting to accept them in their pulpits. Bi-sexuals, cross dressers, and those who have had sex changes seem to be taking over our society . . . . God's Word calls it an abomination!
The enemy is hurling things at the church at an astonishing pace. As God fearing, Bible believing, Holy Spirit filled believers, we must defend our families from the attack of enemy forces.
Is anybody ready to stand and fight for their family? We have an opportunity on November 3rd to protect marriage and family by voting and encouraging everyone we know to vote “yes” on question one.
Fight the Good Fight [CCL of Maine/MFPC]”
I'm pleading with those people up in Maine to not vote for “yes” on question one to protect the close minded version of marriage, but vote “no” on question one to support equality. Sure, it may piss off some of those locals who have appointed themselves to live their lives on a holy moral pedestal to which the rest of us could only hope to aspire.
But honestly it's not even about us, our right as tax-paying citizens to have civil fairness, the preservation of civil rights in the face of majority tyranny, or the simple need for Maine to do the decent thing. And it's not about partisan politics. No, no -- it's about Satan trying to take over the children. Because if two gays or two lesbians get married we open the gates of hell and Satan comes and takes your children. . . .
MJ
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Sanctity of Cabinet Making
As I was going through my e-mails this morning, I saw an e-mail from an old friend of mine that I haven’t talked to in several years. Our friendship took a beaten in early 2007 when we had a falling out about my sexual orientation. She told me then that unless I gave up my sinful lifestyle we could no longer be friends. So I walked away from that friendship with a saddened heart.
So you have to understand my shock of seeing her name in my e-mail box this morning. I was surprised by her e-mail to say the least. It made my blood boil, but not at her at what she was telling me. I will let the e-mail explain it. Here is the e-mail:
Hey Mikey,
I know it’s been a while since we last talk and I am really sorry about that. I would love to reconnect with you someday soon. But on to the reason for this e-mail. I was at church on Sunday and my pastor was talking about the National Equality March on Washington DC. He talked about how we were going to hear a bunch of people saying untruths about homosexuality and that it was our job to combat these lies with the Lords truths. He then went on to share a story with us and I just needed to share it with you.
“Once upon a time there was a cabinet maker. He produced fine, wood cabinets for the people of his village and they all came to him whenever they needed a cabinet for their home. He took great pride in producing cabinets, using wood from two different trees and fitting the crafted pieces together into a seamless union. His cabinets had many drawers and room enough to protect the things the villagers needed to store. The cabinets were strong and useful, built to last a lifetime.
Many villagers were glad to have a useful and beautiful cabinet in their home. The villagers used the cabinet's drawers to protect their possessions from dirt and bugs, filth and corruption. With care, a cabinet lasted a lifetime, protecting the villagers' possessions and making the villagers happy.
Yet, over the years, the cabinet maker discovered that many of the villagers didn't properly care for their cabinets. They no longer realized that even the best-made cabinets needed care and protection. Instead, some villagers left their cabinets exposed to the weather, to dry and crack. Some left their cabinets exposed to rot and filth. Termites ate away at others. Neglected, many of the cabinets broke to pieces.
Some villagers even destroyed their cabinets outright in fits of anger or abuse. Some left their cabinets empty and unused, then threw them away because they could find no use for them.
Many villagers, whose cabinets decayed, blamed the cabinet maker for not building the cabinets strong enough. Even more villagers blamed the cabinets themselves, thinking that cabinets weren't worth the price and care needed to maintain them. Of course, the corrupted and broken cabinets weren't the cabinet maker's, nor the cabinet's fault. Neither were responsible for the villagers' neglect or abuse.
The cabinet maker shook his head in sad bewilderment at the villagers who blamed him or his fine cabinets. In neglecting or abusing the cabinets, the villagers blamed everyone but themselves.
One day, a stranger came to town, telling every villager he met that he, too, was a cabinet maker. He told the villagers that his cabinets were new and improved. The new cabinets, he assured the villagers, were much better than the old ones they were used to. He pointed to the broken and decaying old cabinets as proof that the villagers needed new and improved cabinets. According to the stranger, as soon as he set up shop to sell his new cabinets, the villagers certainly would not want any other kind.
The stranger soon showed up at the cabinet maker's door. The two shared few pleasantries, the cabinet maker finding himself in a quick and tense conversation with his new competitor.
"I understand you have a new cabinet you are trying to sell the people," the cabinet maker said.
"That's right," said the stranger. "My cabinets are newer and better than yours and soon everyone will want one. Your cabinets are now obsolete."
"We'll see," said the cabinet maker. " Do you have one of your new cabinets you can show me?"
The stranger pulled one of his cabinets out of the back of his truck and set it in front of the cabinet maker.
The cabinet maker was startled. In front of him was, not a cabinet, but an end table. "That's not a cabinet," he said. "That's an end table."
"No, you're wrong," the stranger said. "This is a new and improved cabinet and soon everyone will want one."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "it has no drawers. How can it be a cabinet without drawers? It cannot protect the villagers' possessions without drawers."
"Drawers are obsolete," the stranger said. "No one really cares about drawers anymore and those that do happen to need drawers can just stack them underneath the cabinet."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "it is made from only one tree and therefore is weak and cannot support the weight the villagers will place on it."
"Using two trees is old-fashioned. No one really believes that you need two trees to make a cabinet anymore. And besides, no one really expects cabinets to hold any weight anyway."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "it is a side table, not a cabinet. No one will buy this!"
The stranger got angry with the cabinet maker. "You are just an old man with stupid old ideas about cabinets! I will make sure your old and stupid ideas don't stop me from selling my cabinets!" With that the stranger packed up his side table and left.
The next day, the constable showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "The stranger filed a complaint against you," the constable said. "He said you were rude and unfair to him and wouldn't allow him to sell his cabinets to the villagers."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The constable got angry with the cabinet maker. "That's just what he said you'd say. I'm citing you for unfair business practices and hate speech." With that the constable handed a citation to the cabinet maker and left.
Soon after, the stranger showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "You stupid, ignorant old man, what do you have to say about my cabinets now?"
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What you make are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The stranger got even more angry than the first time. "You are not only stupid and ignorant, you are a liar!" With that the stranger left.
The next day, the magistrate showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "I will declare from the magistrate's bench that your refusal to acknowledge the stranger's cabinet is unconstitutional, unfair, and takes away his civil rights. If you don't agree, you'll lose your business license and will never make cabinets again."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The magistrate got angry with the cabinet maker. "Are you implying that I don't recognize unfair and unconstitutional acts when I see them? I'm declaring the stranger's civil rights from the magistrate's bench whether you like it or not!" With that the magistrate left.
Soon after, the stranger showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "You bigoted moron, what do you have to say about my cabinets now?"
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What you make are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The stranger got even more angry than the second time. "You are not only bigoted and a moron, you are a filthy liar!" With that the stranger left.
The next day, the mayor showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "I will pass a law that says that anything the stranger makes is indeed a cabinet. If you don't agree, you'll lose your business license and will never make cabinets again."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The mayor got angry with the cabinet maker. "Are you implying that I'm getting paid off by the stranger to make these laws? I'm passing that law whether you like it or not!" With that the mayor left.
Soon after, the stranger showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "You old, decrepit cretin, what do you have to say about my cabinets now?"
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What you make are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The stranger got even more angry than the third time. "You are not only an old cretin, you are a filthy scumbag liar!" With that the stranger left.
The next day, a student showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "My teacher told me that you don't believe in cabinets."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The student shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever, old dude. You are just as bigoted as the stranger said you'd be. Your ideas are soooooo yesterday!" With that the student left.
The cabinet maker sighed and went back inside his house. He continued to make proper cabinets, using two trees and building lots of drawers, just in case any of the villagers could still tell the difference between a cabinet and a side table…
I tell you brothers and sisters that a side table cannot be a cabinet. Same sex marriage cannot be marriage. Help protect the institution of marriage from those who would change and neuter its definition, and remember, marriage isn't merely an agreement between adults, it is an institution to protect children. Consider donating a few dollars to help preserve the foundational institution of marriage.”
Mikey after listening to this story I thought about you and I now get the bigotry of the church. Who has the right to determine who gets civil rights and who doesn’t. Please forgive me for taking so long to realize that I was an ass when I walked away from our friendship. Please give me a chance to prove to you I have changed.
Your friend for life,
Jess
I apologize for the length of this post but I wanted to share what is being taught from the pulpits of our churches. I really loved the line about marriage being an institution to protect our children. What about those children who come from broken homes. Does god not love them anymore?
I will leave you with a quote, “They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!” - Lea DeLaria
So you have to understand my shock of seeing her name in my e-mail box this morning. I was surprised by her e-mail to say the least. It made my blood boil, but not at her at what she was telling me. I will let the e-mail explain it. Here is the e-mail:
Hey Mikey,
I know it’s been a while since we last talk and I am really sorry about that. I would love to reconnect with you someday soon. But on to the reason for this e-mail. I was at church on Sunday and my pastor was talking about the National Equality March on Washington DC. He talked about how we were going to hear a bunch of people saying untruths about homosexuality and that it was our job to combat these lies with the Lords truths. He then went on to share a story with us and I just needed to share it with you.
“Once upon a time there was a cabinet maker. He produced fine, wood cabinets for the people of his village and they all came to him whenever they needed a cabinet for their home. He took great pride in producing cabinets, using wood from two different trees and fitting the crafted pieces together into a seamless union. His cabinets had many drawers and room enough to protect the things the villagers needed to store. The cabinets were strong and useful, built to last a lifetime.
Many villagers were glad to have a useful and beautiful cabinet in their home. The villagers used the cabinet's drawers to protect their possessions from dirt and bugs, filth and corruption. With care, a cabinet lasted a lifetime, protecting the villagers' possessions and making the villagers happy.
Yet, over the years, the cabinet maker discovered that many of the villagers didn't properly care for their cabinets. They no longer realized that even the best-made cabinets needed care and protection. Instead, some villagers left their cabinets exposed to the weather, to dry and crack. Some left their cabinets exposed to rot and filth. Termites ate away at others. Neglected, many of the cabinets broke to pieces.
Some villagers even destroyed their cabinets outright in fits of anger or abuse. Some left their cabinets empty and unused, then threw them away because they could find no use for them.
Many villagers, whose cabinets decayed, blamed the cabinet maker for not building the cabinets strong enough. Even more villagers blamed the cabinets themselves, thinking that cabinets weren't worth the price and care needed to maintain them. Of course, the corrupted and broken cabinets weren't the cabinet maker's, nor the cabinet's fault. Neither were responsible for the villagers' neglect or abuse.
The cabinet maker shook his head in sad bewilderment at the villagers who blamed him or his fine cabinets. In neglecting or abusing the cabinets, the villagers blamed everyone but themselves.
One day, a stranger came to town, telling every villager he met that he, too, was a cabinet maker. He told the villagers that his cabinets were new and improved. The new cabinets, he assured the villagers, were much better than the old ones they were used to. He pointed to the broken and decaying old cabinets as proof that the villagers needed new and improved cabinets. According to the stranger, as soon as he set up shop to sell his new cabinets, the villagers certainly would not want any other kind.
The stranger soon showed up at the cabinet maker's door. The two shared few pleasantries, the cabinet maker finding himself in a quick and tense conversation with his new competitor.
"I understand you have a new cabinet you are trying to sell the people," the cabinet maker said.
"That's right," said the stranger. "My cabinets are newer and better than yours and soon everyone will want one. Your cabinets are now obsolete."
"We'll see," said the cabinet maker. " Do you have one of your new cabinets you can show me?"
The stranger pulled one of his cabinets out of the back of his truck and set it in front of the cabinet maker.
The cabinet maker was startled. In front of him was, not a cabinet, but an end table. "That's not a cabinet," he said. "That's an end table."
"No, you're wrong," the stranger said. "This is a new and improved cabinet and soon everyone will want one."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "it has no drawers. How can it be a cabinet without drawers? It cannot protect the villagers' possessions without drawers."
"Drawers are obsolete," the stranger said. "No one really cares about drawers anymore and those that do happen to need drawers can just stack them underneath the cabinet."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "it is made from only one tree and therefore is weak and cannot support the weight the villagers will place on it."
"Using two trees is old-fashioned. No one really believes that you need two trees to make a cabinet anymore. And besides, no one really expects cabinets to hold any weight anyway."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "it is a side table, not a cabinet. No one will buy this!"
The stranger got angry with the cabinet maker. "You are just an old man with stupid old ideas about cabinets! I will make sure your old and stupid ideas don't stop me from selling my cabinets!" With that the stranger packed up his side table and left.
The next day, the constable showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "The stranger filed a complaint against you," the constable said. "He said you were rude and unfair to him and wouldn't allow him to sell his cabinets to the villagers."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The constable got angry with the cabinet maker. "That's just what he said you'd say. I'm citing you for unfair business practices and hate speech." With that the constable handed a citation to the cabinet maker and left.
Soon after, the stranger showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "You stupid, ignorant old man, what do you have to say about my cabinets now?"
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What you make are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The stranger got even more angry than the first time. "You are not only stupid and ignorant, you are a liar!" With that the stranger left.
The next day, the magistrate showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "I will declare from the magistrate's bench that your refusal to acknowledge the stranger's cabinet is unconstitutional, unfair, and takes away his civil rights. If you don't agree, you'll lose your business license and will never make cabinets again."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The magistrate got angry with the cabinet maker. "Are you implying that I don't recognize unfair and unconstitutional acts when I see them? I'm declaring the stranger's civil rights from the magistrate's bench whether you like it or not!" With that the magistrate left.
Soon after, the stranger showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "You bigoted moron, what do you have to say about my cabinets now?"
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What you make are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The stranger got even more angry than the second time. "You are not only bigoted and a moron, you are a filthy liar!" With that the stranger left.
The next day, the mayor showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "I will pass a law that says that anything the stranger makes is indeed a cabinet. If you don't agree, you'll lose your business license and will never make cabinets again."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The mayor got angry with the cabinet maker. "Are you implying that I'm getting paid off by the stranger to make these laws? I'm passing that law whether you like it or not!" With that the mayor left.
Soon after, the stranger showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "You old, decrepit cretin, what do you have to say about my cabinets now?"
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What you make are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The stranger got even more angry than the third time. "You are not only an old cretin, you are a filthy scumbag liar!" With that the stranger left.
The next day, a student showed up at the cabinet maker's door. "My teacher told me that you don't believe in cabinets."
"But," the cabinet maker said, "you don't understand. What the stranger makes are not cabinets but side tables. They use wood from only one tree and have no drawers."
The student shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever, old dude. You are just as bigoted as the stranger said you'd be. Your ideas are soooooo yesterday!" With that the student left.
The cabinet maker sighed and went back inside his house. He continued to make proper cabinets, using two trees and building lots of drawers, just in case any of the villagers could still tell the difference between a cabinet and a side table…
I tell you brothers and sisters that a side table cannot be a cabinet. Same sex marriage cannot be marriage. Help protect the institution of marriage from those who would change and neuter its definition, and remember, marriage isn't merely an agreement between adults, it is an institution to protect children. Consider donating a few dollars to help preserve the foundational institution of marriage.”
Mikey after listening to this story I thought about you and I now get the bigotry of the church. Who has the right to determine who gets civil rights and who doesn’t. Please forgive me for taking so long to realize that I was an ass when I walked away from our friendship. Please give me a chance to prove to you I have changed.
Your friend for life,
Jess
I apologize for the length of this post but I wanted to share what is being taught from the pulpits of our churches. I really loved the line about marriage being an institution to protect our children. What about those children who come from broken homes. Does god not love them anymore?
I will leave you with a quote, “They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!” - Lea DeLaria
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Trip Down Memory Lane
Last night Darren and I were doing some house cleaning and I came across a book that had some of my old poetry in it. I took a break from cleaning and started to flip though the pages and taking a trip down memory lane.
I wanted to share two poems with you guys that are as relevant today as they were when I first wrote them.
The first poem is called “In the Grey”. It was originally written after I came out at church. I thought that I was broken and wanted to be fixed. I was convinced that I would lose God’s love if I remained gay. This poem is about my struggle between my spiritual life and my sexual orientation. I hope you enjoy “In the Grey”. . .
In the Grey
Every second that passes is one less that remains,
In the lives we all live every day
And though most would believe life is all Black and White,
It is forgotten that combined they make Grey.
So just what is involved in believing this way,
A lot more than most can conceive
For it is a dangerous game to condemn without thought,
More dangerous than you would believe.
God teaches 'Compassion and Love' in His word,
Along with the way we should live
But it seems we have confused it with prejudice and hate,
When the time comes for us to forgive.
Black and white is so easy for it narrows the view,
And allows us the chance to play God
For we have made up our minds to what is right and what is wrong,
Without walking where others have trod.
I write this to tell you that the Grey is quite real,
And it allows no escape from its hold
For the passage you are given leads you back to the start,
And you are left feeling lifeless and cold.
But to follow our heart and the plan God has written,
Would mean living a life that is a lie
For we are trapped in a body that desires its own,
And we cannot make it change though we try.
So we try to find peace on the other side too,
But the Love that we seek is not there
Though our body is fulfilled our heart is still empty,
For our minds keep trying to compare.
I am not asking for much, just a chance to be loved,
For I have so much love to give
But I am weak and so tired of this struggle inside,
That at times I just do not want to live.
Once again I asked God to fix what has gone wrong,
Or help me find peace being gay
For this battle inside me is destroying my spirit,
Because Love cannot be found 'In the Grey'.
The other poem I wanted to share was written during a period when I just lost the love of my life and was trying to rationalize why it was better for me to be alone instead of in a relationship because straight society wouldn’t except our love anyway. This poem is titled “Outside Looking In” and it is funny that this poem was written nearly ten years ago and yet not much has changed. So here is “Outside Looking In”.
Outside Looking In
Stolen moments of the past are all that remain,
Of the once treasured Love that I had
Though I took it for granted, not knowing the cost,
The emptiness now makes me sad.
So much time has passed, yet so little has changed,
And I am weary from all I have been through
Still reality is the thing I now fear the most,
But there is really not much I can do.
It is not losing the love that I once held so dear,
Or waking each morning alone
It is facing the fear it may not come again,
A fear which has steadily grown.
Convincing myself it is not something I need,
I push to move forward each day
And though it works for a while, the emptiness returns,
For my Heart knows no other way.
So I hide from the world till my strength can return,
Hoping to buy myself time
Repeating the words that I cannot stand to hear,
That being alone is not a crime.
And what if by chance Love finds its way in,
It would have to be hidden from view
For we are not allowed to walk hand-in-hand,
Even though it would feel right to do.
We can hug if we are careful, but not for too long,
For it is not an acceptable thing
And kissing in public could just get you killed,
No matter the Joy it might bring.
So what is really the point in searching for Love,
If it has to be kept out of sight
We can never express what we feel in our heart,
Even though we have just as much right.
Do not take for granted the freedom you have,
For the difference between us, is thin
Still it is enough to keep you on the inside,
And us 'Outside Looking In'.
Thank you for taking this trip down memory lane with me. I hope that you all have a wonderful day and I will talk to you again soon.
MJ
I wanted to share two poems with you guys that are as relevant today as they were when I first wrote them.
The first poem is called “In the Grey”. It was originally written after I came out at church. I thought that I was broken and wanted to be fixed. I was convinced that I would lose God’s love if I remained gay. This poem is about my struggle between my spiritual life and my sexual orientation. I hope you enjoy “In the Grey”. . .
In the Grey
Every second that passes is one less that remains,
In the lives we all live every day
And though most would believe life is all Black and White,
It is forgotten that combined they make Grey.
So just what is involved in believing this way,
A lot more than most can conceive
For it is a dangerous game to condemn without thought,
More dangerous than you would believe.
God teaches 'Compassion and Love' in His word,
Along with the way we should live
But it seems we have confused it with prejudice and hate,
When the time comes for us to forgive.
Black and white is so easy for it narrows the view,
And allows us the chance to play God
For we have made up our minds to what is right and what is wrong,
Without walking where others have trod.
I write this to tell you that the Grey is quite real,
And it allows no escape from its hold
For the passage you are given leads you back to the start,
And you are left feeling lifeless and cold.
But to follow our heart and the plan God has written,
Would mean living a life that is a lie
For we are trapped in a body that desires its own,
And we cannot make it change though we try.
So we try to find peace on the other side too,
But the Love that we seek is not there
Though our body is fulfilled our heart is still empty,
For our minds keep trying to compare.
I am not asking for much, just a chance to be loved,
For I have so much love to give
But I am weak and so tired of this struggle inside,
That at times I just do not want to live.
Once again I asked God to fix what has gone wrong,
Or help me find peace being gay
For this battle inside me is destroying my spirit,
Because Love cannot be found 'In the Grey'.
The other poem I wanted to share was written during a period when I just lost the love of my life and was trying to rationalize why it was better for me to be alone instead of in a relationship because straight society wouldn’t except our love anyway. This poem is titled “Outside Looking In” and it is funny that this poem was written nearly ten years ago and yet not much has changed. So here is “Outside Looking In”.
Outside Looking In
Stolen moments of the past are all that remain,
Of the once treasured Love that I had
Though I took it for granted, not knowing the cost,
The emptiness now makes me sad.
So much time has passed, yet so little has changed,
And I am weary from all I have been through
Still reality is the thing I now fear the most,
But there is really not much I can do.
It is not losing the love that I once held so dear,
Or waking each morning alone
It is facing the fear it may not come again,
A fear which has steadily grown.
Convincing myself it is not something I need,
I push to move forward each day
And though it works for a while, the emptiness returns,
For my Heart knows no other way.
So I hide from the world till my strength can return,
Hoping to buy myself time
Repeating the words that I cannot stand to hear,
That being alone is not a crime.
And what if by chance Love finds its way in,
It would have to be hidden from view
For we are not allowed to walk hand-in-hand,
Even though it would feel right to do.
We can hug if we are careful, but not for too long,
For it is not an acceptable thing
And kissing in public could just get you killed,
No matter the Joy it might bring.
So what is really the point in searching for Love,
If it has to be kept out of sight
We can never express what we feel in our heart,
Even though we have just as much right.
Do not take for granted the freedom you have,
For the difference between us, is thin
Still it is enough to keep you on the inside,
And us 'Outside Looking In'.
Thank you for taking this trip down memory lane with me. I hope that you all have a wonderful day and I will talk to you again soon.
MJ
Monday, October 12, 2009
Equality Rally in Chicago not Washington DC
This picture was taken by Jerry Pritikin in Ohio. Pictured is Mariela, myself, Farrin, Messina and Michael.
Hey everyone,
As some of you may already know one of the buses from JTIC had some drama Saturday night and we were stuck in Ohio for over 5 hours. So we did not make it to the Equality March in Washington DC. Which I have to admit I was devastated and heart-broken when we found out that we could not make it to Washington DC. There was some bitterness in me that I had to fight back toward the other 3 buses that made it to Washington DC, for I knew that it wasn't their fault that they made it to Washington DC and my bus did not.
During my time at the rest area in Genoa, Ohio (which my friend Rachel dubbed he "Devil's Waiting Room". I hung out at a table with Mariela, Farrin, Michael, Jerry, Messina and Rachel. We played a few games of Boggle. During these games we were forming strong friendships that I beleive will last for a life time. We ended the games of Boggle when the words "queer" and "wed" appeared. Later on in the nighta group of people got together in the center of the rest area and played duck, duck, goose.
Later on in the night we were all drained from lack of sleep and we started to find anything to be funny. But my favorite moment in the night was when Mariela bought a candy ring and went to Farrin slipped the ring on her pinkie (would not fit on ring finger)and said, "In Ohio where queer wed first showed up. Will you say yes when it is legal?" Farrin said yes and they kissed over Jerry. Not even five minutes later Farrin slams her hand down on the table and broke the ring into pieces. We all just could not contain the laughter.
When we voted to return back to Chicago, I again was sad and depressed along with other people in the "Devil's Waiting Room". But as we got back to Chicago, I started to feel better. I came to the realization that the March on Washington DC may of been our initial goal but it was also to reach out and make friends and fight for civil rights for all. We did not have to be in Washington DC to do this.
So a group of about 10 of us from Bus 1 stayed around and hung out at Union Station downtown for a while. A wonderful woman by the name of Betsy Johnson pulled out a book and started a e-mail list which is referred to as the "Bus 1 survivors list". The thing about Betsy is she is a proud PFLAG mother who was going to march for her gay son. I am glad that I am able to call her my friend.
After a few hours sitting o the steps of Union Station our group then moved to the Cultural Center to snack on some of the snacks we had for the bus and to put on layers of cloths before we headed over to Daily Plaza for Chicago's Equality Rally.
Some may of thought that the Chicago Solidarity Rally was a consolation prize over Washington DC. And if you would of asked me that yesterday morning I would have to agree with them. Yet being at that rally and listening to people like Democratic Candidate for Governor Dan Hynes, Candidate for Illinois State Senate Jim Madigan, State Rep. Greg Harris and Join the Impact Chicago's very own Matty Z. I was moved by everyone who spoke at the rally.
I am not looking at this weekend as an end of my movement toward equal rights for everyone. NO, I am looking at it as the beginning and I will do everything in my power to make a difference in this movement be it here in Chicago or in Washington DC.
So for those of you who were not able to make it to Washington DC for what ever reason, do NOT give up the fight for equal rights. And for those of you who made it to Washington DC, I look forward to hearing what you have to share with us.
MJ
Monday, October 5, 2009
Obama To Take On Military Gay Ban At `Right Time'
This past Sunday James Jones, security adviser to President Obama, made his rounds of the morning political talk shows and stated that the president will focus on overturning Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell “at the right time.”
For those of my readers that do not know what Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is, I will tell you. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a law that was passed in 1993 that bans gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid wrote in a letter back on Sept 24th to President Obama, “At a time when we are fighting two wars, I do not believe we can afford to discharge any qualified individuals who is willing to serve our country.”
Congress is considering repealing the law, but action isn’t expected to be taken on this issue till early next year. The reason is because according to Jones, President Obama has an awful lot on his desk. Yet he says that he knows this is an issue that Obama intends to take care off at the appropriate time. He later says that the Defense Department is already doing the things that it has to do to prepare for the change, but the president will take it on at the right time.
Okay an I the only one who is pissed off! Do we remember when Obama was only a candidate for the presidency he promised s to repeal this law when he became president. Yet he has done nothing since taking office in January. Instead his administration has said that it will not stop the military from dismissing gays and lesbians who acknowledge their sexuality.
Do you know that last year 634 members of the military were discharged for being gay. Yes that is better then back in 2001 when 1,227 were discharged. But still that number should be zero. . .
For those of my readers that do not know what Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is, I will tell you. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a law that was passed in 1993 that bans gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid wrote in a letter back on Sept 24th to President Obama, “At a time when we are fighting two wars, I do not believe we can afford to discharge any qualified individuals who is willing to serve our country.”
Congress is considering repealing the law, but action isn’t expected to be taken on this issue till early next year. The reason is because according to Jones, President Obama has an awful lot on his desk. Yet he says that he knows this is an issue that Obama intends to take care off at the appropriate time. He later says that the Defense Department is already doing the things that it has to do to prepare for the change, but the president will take it on at the right time.
Okay an I the only one who is pissed off! Do we remember when Obama was only a candidate for the presidency he promised s to repeal this law when he became president. Yet he has done nothing since taking office in January. Instead his administration has said that it will not stop the military from dismissing gays and lesbians who acknowledge their sexuality.
Do you know that last year 634 members of the military were discharged for being gay. Yes that is better then back in 2001 when 1,227 were discharged. But still that number should be zero. . .
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