Saying Something and Doing It Are Two Different Things.

If I were to throw some names at you, could you tell me what they have in common? Well lets give it a try; Allen Schindler, Timothy McVeigh, Barry Winchell and Dan Choi. All four of these man have something to do with the military policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

Allen Schindler was murdered by his fellow sailors on October 27th, 1992. Timothy McVeigh became the first person to win a case against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in 1998. Barry Winchell was murdered by a fellow soldier on July 5th, 1999. Dan Choi publicly came out in March of this year and was discharged from the Army.

Even though there are hundreds if not thousands of other cases of people affected by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, I wanted to spend some time talking about one that has had the most influence on me.

I first came across the name Barry Winchell in the summer of 1999. I just received my latest copy of XY Magazine ( a gay themed magazine for gay youth) and I was flipping through it and started to read the articles. This issue touched on the subject of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. It included bios of service members who were dishonorable discharged from the military after they found out they were gay or lesbian. But the article I remembered the most was the feature article. It was about a young straight solder who was brutally beaten in the early morning of July 5th of that year.

You are wondering why a gay magazine ran an article about a straight solder under it’s segment of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Well let me explain. Barry Winchell, had fallen in love with a beautiful transgendered woman named Calpernia Addam, whom he met at a nightclub in Nashville. Justin Fisher, Barry’s roommate, began spreading rumors of the relationship at Ft. Campbell. Barry then became a target of ongoing harassment from his fellow solders. Justin Fisher started to refer to Barry as “the faggot”. There wasn’t anything Barry could of done to stop the harassment or name calling because of the terms under the policy of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell”. So Barry had no choice but to keep his head down and endure the increasing brutality, for if he were to mention it to anyone, it would have meant an immediate dishonorable discharge from the Army. So Barry kept the abuse to himself and became a victim to the policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

The article went on to say that on July 4th, Barry and a fellow soldier named Calvin Glover, fought after Barry accused a boasting Calvin of being a fraud. Both men were drinking beer throughout the day. Later in the day, Justin, whom by now had his own history of physical altercations with Barry, began to irritate and provoke the nineteen year old Calvin. Justin taunted Calvin by saying, “What sort of a real man would lose a fight to a faggot like Barry Winchell?”

That night Justin and Barry had another one of their altercations and Barry went to sleep on a cot outside the room he shared with Fisher. Around midnight Calvin took a baseball bat from Justin's locker and struck Barry as he slept. The bat struck Barry's head, face, and upper torso area, as if Calvin was trying to not only kill Barry, but to obliterate any trace of what he represented. Barry died of massive head injuries on July 6th.

That was where my article in XY Magazine left the story. After reading this article, I was pissed off so I decided to research Barry Winchell’s name on AOL (yes we didn’t have Google back in the day) to try and find any related information. In the following months after the article came out I have learned a few things. First, I learned that Barry's murder led then President Bill Clinton to order a review of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, but that really did not get very far. Secondly, I found out that Calvin Glover was later convicted for the murder of Barry Winchell and was sentenced to serve a life sentence. Justin Fisher was sentenced in a plea bargain to 12.5 years.

So there I was at the age of nine-teen, filled with all this anger and frustration. But what did I do, NOTHING!!! I believed that one person couldn’t make a difference, so I put all my information I gathered together and put it in my desk drawer and put “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on a back burner in my mind.

Now lets fast forward to the year 2003. It has been nearly 4 years since Barry Winchell’s murder and I have all but forgotten his story. But then I saw an ad on television for a movie called “Soldier’s Girl”. I was glued to that thirty second preview of this movie. After the commercial ended I ran up to the guest room and retrieved a binder I placed there a few months earlier. I returned to the living room where my partner Darren was still sitting with a confused look on his face (okay, so he always looks at me that way). I opened the binder to a section that contained an article that I took out of my XY Magazine and also some print outs from AOL. As I explained to Darren that the movie preview we just saw was about the young man in that article.

When the movie finally aired on Showtime, I made sure I did not miss it. I sat there with tears in my eyes for most of this movie since I know the outcome. For me watching “Solder’s Girl” was like watching the “Laramie Project” for both movies teach us what raw hatred can do.

I am proud to say that the movie “Solder’s Girl” received a Peabody Award and numerous Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. Yet, I was ecstatic when the movie sparked a renewed debate of the effects of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

I know, you are wondering if I got involved then on the debate of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and I have to answer with a sad no. I sat there while I watched Washington push the issue back to the curbside and pretend like it isn’t an issue. And most of America agreed with them and we let the debate rest once again.

Now lets return to present time. It has been a little over ten years since Barry Winchell’s murder. Justin Fisher has completed the prison term deemed appropriate by the government and now walks as a free man as of October 2008. Both former President Bill Clinton and current President Barack Obama’s promises to dismantle the codified culture of homophobia in the US Military stands unfulfilled.

The real cost of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” has always been the human one. But now we see that it is also the lives and careers of thousands of American soldiers who would have been willing and proud to lay their lives down in the service of their fellow Americans.

As for me, the passion I found when I picked up and read that article back in 1999 has been rekindled. And even though it has taken me a little more then ten years to get to this point, I am finally here and I am not going anywhere. I realized that around 75% of Americans support the complete repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” but yet the Obama administration continues to hesitate about taking action against this policy. If you ask me I think they are stalling once again and are hoping that people like me and all the others who let it go by the wayside in 1999 and in 2003, will let it go back there again. But I finally realized that I need to stay in this fight until President Obama keeps one of most important campaign promises he made to me and my community and overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

So what I am asking of all of you is that as you read all these news articles about Obama saying he is going to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, or you see Army Secretary John McHugh say that the Army can handle the lifting of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” please do not celebrate. For saying something and doing it or two totally different things. Believe me I know from experience.

MJ