Extremely Disturbing

As I lie on a cold floor naked, stripped of my dignity; shimmering tears cascade through the void of my existence. Inside, there is a war of the flames of my desire versus my cold reality. Shards of ice melt in the dreams of a better tomorrow. A chaotic peacefulness results in the man you see before you. I come from a dark place where the shadows themselves have gone mad. I sit quietly with my loneliness crying out to be silenced. Yet, my primal rage of hate and craving for vengeance burns brightly. The freedom to destroy the happiness of the one who put me her rest in one hand. In the other, the dreams of my own happiness involves the same person I would hurt.

I feel damned to this isolation. . . Barred from the joys of other humans. I scream for release, but my pleas are ignored. I am left alone to sit quietly within the shadows. I can hear the sound of my heart beating in my ears. I cry-out for help once more, and again no one responds. I try to escape, but the room is impossible to penetrate.

I start to think back to that moment only days before, when I told him it was over. I wonder how I could have walked away so easily. I guess I became so engrossed in my own needs that I lose sight of all else. Before I know it, the love was gone and I left.

Now I find myself in this room looking for an explanation of why I did the things I did. He did nothing by treasured my secrets as if they were jewels. He provided me a place to rest. But in the comfort of his arms, I betrayed his sanctuary. I watched helplessly as our bridge burned out of control. I couldn’t do anything to stop the inferno from consuming everything we have built together. How can I have set fire to a work of such magnificence? I left him standing there, begging me to reconsider. Begging me to stay?

I begin to shiver in a cold sweat as the darkness of my prison devours me once again. I cry out for help again, but again my cries are not heard. I now find myself begging with all my heart's power. I am tired of screaming, but I cannot stop. Maybe, just maybe, he will show me mercy and set me free. I hear footsteps. He is coming. Have my screams worked? Yes!

He opens the door to my prison but I cannot stand. My legs are too weak. I realize then, as I cry for his help, that he has not come to release me. He has come to finish me off. I notice a long object in his hand. It is a lead pipe. He holds it over his head with one hand and with a single powerful blow, he strikes and breaks what is left of my legs. I scream. The pain is too much. I beg to die. Death is now paradise. Heaven or Hell? I do not care. I just want to fucking die. Again, his overwhelming strength thrusts his weapon upon me. This time my back. Both shoulder blades are shattered and I suddenly can no longer feel my legs. He has destroyed a part of my spine, it seems. And he walks away.

For twenty minutes, I experience the worst pain imaginable. I begin thinking of ways to kill myself. Is it possible? And then the pain takes over again. I see flashes of light and hear voices calling me from my past. I try to block out the light; I close my eyes very tight. I still see the light and hear the voices coming back to haunt me. Words that tear at my heart and devour my soul like vultures. Sweat pours from my body and makes me shiver. There is no escape from the agony and pain that torments me.

It fells like an eternity when he returns, but this time he has a chain with a hook on the end of it. He reaches down grabs my arm with so power that it breaks in a twist. I can see my forearm protruding from my elbow. He starts pulling me violently by my now broken arm over rocky ground to a hanging conveyor belt. My capturer then inserts his hook into the back of my neck, not caring whether its penetration will kill me or not. And unfortunately, it does not.

By the other end of the chain, he hoists me to the conveyor belt and hangs me there. My vision is patchy, everything is a blur. Blood begins to drip into my eyes. My pain is beginning to subside. Death is near. My heart begins to weaken; and my body can take no more and finally gives way to death.

Death has claimed yet another that was selfish. He will soon be placed in a grave and left to rot. A few kind words will be said to please the few who have gathered. Some may shed a few tears at his grave side, as is expected at a funeral. But in the end they will walk away, never to remember him again.


Hope you didn’t mind that I took a break today and just posted a little Halloween treat for your reading please. Hope you enjoyed my little story.

MJ